вєяяу тяαρρєя! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mytarget) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
oddsandends2019-02-16 04:52 pm
mytarget) wrote in oddsandends2019-02-16 04:52 pm
1: It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of grog, I don’t need to see yours.
2: My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight.
3: We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky.
4: [text her!]
2: My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight.
3: We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky.
4: [text her!]
1.Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
2. i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
3: vommed in the sink and didn't realize until i was done that my bra was in there so that's my morning
4: w-w-w-WILDCARD
2. i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
3: vommed in the sink and didn't realize until i was done that my bra was in there so that's my morning
4: w-w-w-WILDCARD
1. I'm sitting at a bagel shop, hungover, wearing a princess crown and a sweater that isn't mine. It's not one of my finest moments.
2. I woke up this morning next to the laptop with Google search results for "how to put out a fire." I'm very scared to turn around.
3. Do any of you know who mailed me a set of business cards describing my profession as "tortured soul"?
4. wow wildcard
2. I woke up this morning next to the laptop with Google search results for "how to put out a fire." I'm very scared to turn around.
3. Do any of you know who mailed me a set of business cards describing my profession as "tortured soul"?
4. wow wildcard
[1] currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
[2] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
[3] No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
[4] wildcard
[2] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
[3] No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
[4] wildcard
Edited 2019-02-16 18:45 (UTC)
If the search was actually relevant you'd probably be able to tell immediately, whichever way you were facing.
Food waste, recycling, or landfill? I need specifics.
Oh, good, that narrows it down to a few million, I should be there in a couple minutes.
1.) What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
2.) I'm having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult.
3.) What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft?
4.) [wildcard me]
2.) I'm having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult.
3.) What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft?
4.) [wildcard me]
1. I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
2. "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
3. I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
4. I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
2. "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
3. I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
4. I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
1.) Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
2.) She started crying because the Rugrats grew up.
3.) He asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "You know why!" and ran outside with said gnome.
4.) [wildcard!]
2.) She started crying because the Rugrats grew up.
3.) He asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "You know why!" and ran outside with said gnome.
4.) [wildcard!]
A: But on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
B: What's your currently declared sexuality, for my bingo card?
C: Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at people's cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
D: (text her!)
B: What's your currently declared sexuality, for my bingo card?
C: Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at people's cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
D: (text her!)
Edited 2019-02-16 23:50 (UTC)
My sexuality is "Boys are stupid and gross".
What about girls, though? Are they stupid and gross or cute and dateable?
Girls are just kinda, like
Theyre there
I guess
Theyre there
I guess
1: I have seen more male genitalia at this party than I ever want to see in my entire life.
2: i have a glowsitck. gkoesyick. GLOWSTCK. glowsticj. FUCK IT ALL. G L O W S T I C K
3: Did you clean my apartment?
4: All I have in my bag is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
5: [Or text her!]
2: i have a glowsitck. gkoesyick. GLOWSTCK. glowsticj. FUCK IT ALL. G L O W S T I C K
3: Did you clean my apartment?
4: All I have in my bag is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
5: [Or text her!]
1: you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
2: this is a drunk text message: I am so glad that we are friends. tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. we both love dogs. flower.
3: How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
4: i out mim tonsoeep
5: [Or text her!]
2: this is a drunk text message: I am so glad that we are friends. tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. we both love dogs. flower.
3: How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
4: i out mim tonsoeep
5: [Or text her!]
Edited 2019-02-17 00:34 (UTC)
1: Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
2: I am not saying you are stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking.
3: A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
4: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
5: [Or text him!]
2: I am not saying you are stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking.
3: A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
4: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
5: [Or text him!]
Oh. So does that leave you at ace, or just unimpressed?
Unimpressed sounds about right. Maybe in a year or two I'll be able to consider a boy without getting dry heaves.
Not really a good way unless you want to use language he might not understand.
Like, "Sir, I wish to apply my lips to your phallus, and apply them most vigorously."
Or, you know, drink a lot with him and let him have it.
Like, "Sir, I wish to apply my lips to your phallus, and apply them most vigorously."
Or, you know, drink a lot with him and let him have it.
Being ladylike is a lot of work. I'm really not sure it's worth it.
1. When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
2. What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
3. Just because you got dumped by some loser doesnt mean you need religion. It just means you need better friends and some booze
4. The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
5. (text her.)
2. What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
3. Just because you got dumped by some loser doesnt mean you need religion. It just means you need better friends and some booze
4. The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
5. (text her.)
There's always 'drag behind the hedge and kiss him until he nearly passes out, then when he's stunned tell him flat out'. You should play to your strengths.
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