вєяяу тяαρρєя! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mytarget) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
oddsandends2019-05-06 08:34 pm
mytarget) wrote in oddsandends2019-05-06 08:34 pm
1. Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
2. moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
3. I think we're only still together so we can make each other miserable
4. Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
2. moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
3. I think we're only still together so we can make each other miserable
4. Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
1. I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire.
2. Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
3. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
4. Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
5. (Text her!)
2. Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
3. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
4. Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
5. (Text her!)
[ i got too lazy to make Future Erina icons so just pretend i have them ]
1. ya know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
2. laying on the floor and listening to sad spotify playlists together is an ESSENTIAL part of the lesbian bonding process
3. if i HAVE to go to jail i deserve to be arrested for something better than some fuck named bucky
4. swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
5. TEXT YA GIRL
1. ya know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
2. laying on the floor and listening to sad spotify playlists together is an ESSENTIAL part of the lesbian bonding process
3. if i HAVE to go to jail i deserve to be arrested for something better than some fuck named bucky
4. swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
5. TEXT YA GIRL
people keep expecting me to care about thor and it's EXHAUSTING
1. In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
2. My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
3. Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
4. So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable.
2. My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
3. Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
4. So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable.
1) Buying $100 worth of beef jerky sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2) Fine, I'll cuddle you, but only for the purpose of trying to survive.
3) I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.
4) WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS. HAPPY MONDAY.
2) Fine, I'll cuddle you, but only for the purpose of trying to survive.
3) I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.
4) WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS. HAPPY MONDAY.
1: next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
2: are you inviting me to ice cream?
3: How naked do you want me to be?
4: For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
5: [Or text her!]
2: are you inviting me to ice cream?
3: How naked do you want me to be?
4: For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
5: [Or text her!]
Eating her feelings is also good. Then she has more protein and calories for channeling the rage that will follow into a strict workout routine!
1) He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
2) Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
3) The police scanner is talking about you again...
4) Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate.
2) Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
3) The police scanner is talking about you again...
4) Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate.
1: I know her cup size but not her name....
2: Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
3: Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
4: sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
5: [Or text him!]
2: Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
3: Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
4: sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
5: [Or text him!]
1: I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
2: Stop chatting and get in the bloody car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
3: All I have in my pockets is 10 cents and a plastic ducky. I can't explain last night.
4: it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
5: [Or text him!]
2: Stop chatting and get in the bloody car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
3: All I have in my pockets is 10 cents and a plastic ducky. I can't explain last night.
4: it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
5: [Or text him!]
I think I saw that one. It was all right, but I've forgotten most of the story.
1: I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
2: It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
3: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
4: If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
5: [Or text him/her!]
2: It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
3: ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
4: If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
5: [Or text him/her!]
...I think so? Fruit usually does. Healthy. I'll look.
Best known for potassium. High in Vitamin B6. ...Unsure if that's why, though.
1. you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
2. I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back of my car so we could have sex.
3. There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
4. You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
2. I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back of my car so we could have sex.
3. There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
4. You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm not entirely sure what either of those are so that's probably not why
I'll eat just about anything that isn't poisonous ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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