82nd ♫ | nodding off in a chocolate bathtub full of whipped cream bubbles

[mytarget]

The Personal Hygiene Shipping Meme


Personal hygiene is just that - personal. By the time we've come to a point in our lives where we notice that the concept exists and we should be prudent about it, we can take care of ourselves. There are also many practical reasons why we don't involve other people in this process. We're not too keen on showing off parts to be cleaned that are private in most contexts, and there's definitely an ingrained aversion to showing so much soft, fleshy skin. Hot water or a sharp razor could spell dangerous with a capital D should they come into the hands of someone with a vendetta against you. No need to be extra vulnerable.

So, if you're involving another person in your cleansing routines, it must be someone you trust. Not only that, but it's most likely someone you're comfortable with and likely at least somewhat open to being intimate with. You may not be dropping all your clothing in front of them, but it's still you opening yourself up to touching and closeness unparalleled in more "usual" moments.

Established and burgeoning couples (or not-so-couples) can bond through this showing of care and good faith. Will you like being pampered and find the attention endearing? Or will things go terribly, terribly wrong?

...you never should have let them near that shaving cream.

• Comment with your character and preferences.
• Smut is not required. Mention if you want/don't want it.
• Reply to others and use the RNG.

1. Comfort: You've decided to pitch in a helping hand to get your partner to unwind, and warm water or suds may do the trick.
2. Romantic: The sole purpose of this endeavor is to set a lovey-dovey mood. No shame here!
3. It Started Out Platonic...: What a good pal you are, volunteering to give your friend a good scrub. Of course, you didn't count on the cute way she squirms as you scrub her back or how he blushes when you shampoo his scalp.
4. No Choice: Currently, you're unable to clean yourself up. That means that you need assistance, and it might as well be the person you lov- tolerate the most.
5. Open: You have trust issues. Actually, you have backlogs of trust issues. Still, you want to show the person you love that you're willing and trying to change for them, and what better way than letting down your walls and having the assist in your grooming?
6. Shave: Whether it's your face, your legs, or...your other places you've decided to shave, there's a certain intimacy involved in letting your lover do it for you. Let's hope they won't leave you looking like you got into a battle with a book with the paper cuts to prove it.
7. Reluctant: They want to get you clean. You don't want to show off your body at all. It's injured, it looks weird, what if they don't like it...
8. Forced: You love them, you really do, but you won't kiss them if they continue to look like an unwashed hobo clown. You have to draw the line somewhere, and if they won't take action, you will.
9. Beat Up: You've been trampled in a fight. Your partner isn't about to let you wallow around in your own mud and blood.
10. Hair: Some find that there's nothing quite as soothing as getting their hair washed or brushed. Of course, those with more luxurious locks may find any hair care a burden, so the assistance is appreciated.
11. Make Up: They think you're beautiful already. See how they'll paint you up when they get the chance.
12. Unique: If you're not human, you probably have your own proceeders you have to do to keep all spiffied up. There are wings with stray feathers to pluck, horns on heads to polish, scales to shave down, all sorts of tasks! Introduce your ignorant (and most likely human) boyfriend or girlfriend to your world...and your pain.
13. Accommodations: Those with disabilities or prosthetics may also have their own routines, and anyone who wants to be with them should learn how to pitch in.
14. Sponge Bath: You don't have enough water to do this right or you just want to give them a nice rub and scrub with a gentle sponge or wash cloth.
15. Wound Care: In order for wounds to heal, proper care must be taken. Bandages have to be changed and cuts cleaned out. It's certainly easier when you don't have to do it all by yourself.
16. Together: You're both cleaning up, taking a bath, splish splash, in the same tub because there's no where else to go. This is the most likely smut option, even if, again, it starts off "platonic."
17. Clothing: Don't forget that clean clothes are an important part of personal hygiene. Always make sure your partner has a nice, fresh outfit, even if it's to your taste and not theirs.
18. I've Made a Terrible Mistake: Somehow, everything's now shit. This little experiment went haywire and you may be sporting anything from the worst hairdo of your life to a Columbian necktie.
19. FREE SPACE

Comments

like some combination of 4, 7, 10

[swordofajerk]

[Felix understands that Dimitri is in a bad way. He was injured by that girl, he aggravated it by refusing to let anyone else take Rodrigue's body, and then the idiot boar actually tried to do a one-man suicide run to Enbarr before the professor stopped him. He understands all of this.

That doesn't mean he has much sympathy for him as he lies in the infirmary with a fever and an infection and in desperate need of a proper bath. Granted, if it weren't for the fact that the others all but forced Felix into being the one to get Dimtri into the bath he might have some more sympathy. Why not Dedue? "His arm was injured at Gronder and he can't lift." Sylvain? "Wrenched his knee." Literally any of the other taller and physically stronger men in the army? Busy, or otherwise suffering from minor injuries, unlike Felix who got off with nothing more than a sore arm and a dead father.

(At least he knew it was stupid to ask Hilda to do it. Not only would she whine, Dimitri'd probably be too embarrassed, because somehow he's still a damn prude.)

So here Felix stands, arms crossed as he stares at Dimitri while the nurses fill a tub with hot water.]

Up you come, boar.

[crypddyd]

[Felix isn't the only one that wishes literally anyone else came to aid him. Because the moment he looks at Felix the rush of fresh guilt hits him and is clear on his face.

But perhaps there's one bright side to it- there is none of that cow-eyed blankness that usually came with him mistaking Felix for Glenn. No, even caught in a fever he knows exactly who he's looking at. Progress? Maybe. Though perhaps it's more that right now the living brother can hurt him much more than his elder ghost]

I... can manage on my own.

[swordofajerk]

Like hell you can.

[He almost wishes Dimitri still looked at him with that blank stare that wasn't really seeing him. It's better than the damn guilt.

Felix stalks over and starts to pull Dimitri up, mindful of his injuries but still obviously annoyed.]

How the hell are you still this heavy?

[crypddyd]

[He grunts in annoyance but doesn't fight back- which honestly might be worse. At least he doesn't go deadweight, trying to get his feet under him]

I can't say- no matter how little I ate I kept growing.

[Going through a growth spurt while on the run was... not fun]

[swordofajerk]

[Felix just grunts--no, he's not bitter about being the shortest man in the army, what are you on about?--and hauls Dimitri up out of the bed.]

You and your freakish strength. [Or: he's blaming your Crest.] Can you get your pants off or do you need help with that, too?

[crypddyd]

I can manage.

[And he does! Though it takes some doing since he only has one fully mobile arm- thankfully it's his dominant hand. Unlacing was awkward but doable- but wiggling them off required a bit of wiggling and heavily leaning on Felix. Oops]

[swordofajerk]

[Felix grunts but doesn't shove Dimitri off or anything. He's grumpy, not an asshole.

Today, anyway.

Once Dimitri is stripped, Felix helps get him over and into the tub. The water's still hot, and thanks to enchanted stones it should stay hot for as long as Dimitri needs.]

--your eyepatch. It needs washing, or replacing.

[He holds out a hand for it, knowing better than to try and remove it himself.]

[crypddyd]

[He hesitates, raising his hand halfway to the bit of cloth and then hanging there.]

...it's not pleasant to look at.

[swordofajerk]

Obviously, or you wouldn't be wearing that nasty thing. Give it here.

cw: mentions of eye gore

[crypddyd]

Tch. Fine.

[He yanks it off, offering it to him. The eye is... still there, surprisingly enough. But the skin around it is twisted and puckered, and the eye itself is cloudy. It doesn't react to the light and doesn't seem able to fully open. Just a slice of ice blue in a web of scaring. It seems like it might have been magically healed at least once... but either far too late to save his sight or purposely done half assedly

The implications are not good]

[swordofajerk]

[Felix has one moment of shock--he didn't expect the eye to still be there--but it's over as quickly as it came as he gingerly takes the eyepatch and sets it on the table. They'll get him a new one later.]

Vestra?

[crypddyd]

Vestra. Perhaps I should thank him for his sadism. If he had just plucked it I likely would have died from infection later.

It... doesn't water properly. So I have to keep it covered.

[if just to avoid further damage]

[swordofajerk]

We'll talk to one of the healers, since you're talking again. Maybe they can do something.

[The eye is a lost cause and Felix knows it, but maybe Mercedes or Marianne can help or even take the damn thing out, solve the problem entirely.

But that's for later. Right now, Dimitri's in the bath and Felix knows he can't bathe himself. Still, he hands the boar a cloth and some soap so he can wash what he can (and what Felix won't).

He grabs a nearby ewer and fills it with water from the tub.]

Tip your head back.

[crypddyd]

...perhaps.

[he doesn't have it in him to argue with Felix right now. Not after... after he got his father killed. Right now Felix could demand anything from him, any death or sin, and he'd comply.

So he quietly works on washing away some of the blood, and when asked tips his head back]

... you could easily slit my throat like this, right now.

[swordofajerk]

[Felix stops mid-pour to just stare at Dimitri like he's an idiot.

Which, well, he is, but that's not the point.]

What.

[crypddyd]

[he looks away, shamed, but doesn't move otherwise]

Others have tried as revenge for getting their families killed. If anyone has the right, it's you.

[He's so tired- and he's going to do everything in his power to redeem his actions. But that dark self-hate wasn't just washed away because the Professor said some, admittedly needed, pretty words in the rain]

[swordofajerk]

What. Did that bitch hit your head when she fell? Why the hell would I want to kill you?

[crypddyd]

[Now it's Dimitri's turn to look at Felix like he's spouting nonsense]

Felix, you've made it rather clear that you hate me. Your... Rodrigue died because of my sins. Why would you not?

[As if he literally can't picture anyone NOT wanting bloody revenge on him]

[swordofajerk]

My father died because he was a stupid old man who forgot he could wield a sword or throw a dagger. He died because he thought throwing himself in front of you was a good idea. He didn't die because of you.

[crypddyd]

... can it really be that simple?

[He doesn't look away, doesn't cover his throat back up... but at least some of that dull-eyed expression is gone, and he's actually listening]

[swordofajerk]

Why wouldn't it be? What do you think I've been saying for the last nine years?

[crypddyd]

I wish... I was strong enough to only look at the present like you do, Felix.

[swordofajerk]

[He scoffs.]

Where else am I supposed to look? The past won't change and the future could be anything.

[Right, back to washing up his idiot boar.]

The only thing I can do is look at the present.

[crypddyd]

I see.... then, I will try to do the same.

[He can't promise to do more than try, for now. So instead he closes his eyes and lets Felix handle his hair]

Do you remember the last time we bathed together?

[It had to have been before his first command, but he can't recall exactly when it was. As small children, of course, they did often]

[swordofajerk]

[Weird question, but okay.]

After Duscur, before Mother died. I was staying at the castle because they weren't sure if she was sick with something contagious and no one wanted me around until they figured it out. The royal baths were finally renovated, and you dragged me to them so I'd stop pacing and ruining your training dummies.