[thankfully he's so lightweight the shelving only shudders but doesn't move. He scrambles to the top, settling down with his legs dangling over. Even he has to hunch forward a bit to fit, making his cookies-and-cream hair brush the ceiling]

You callin' me soggy, bub? I'll have you know that Dark Cacao Cookies are the toughest and most crispy on all of Earthbread!!

[don't try and understand cookie physiology. It's impossible]