oddsandends | 49th ♫ | I've been walking for much too long

[God damnit, Ein. Of course the dog is all over Maya's attention; a few quick sniffs at her hands and he's suddenly all doggy smiles and rolling over.

Spike sees how it is. He narrows his eyes at Ein as if to communicate-- traitor. Ein, with his head in Maya's lap, simply wiggles his butt.

Traitor.]

Shameless, are we?

[Grumbles Spike, leaning back to assess she who has infringed on his camp. She's small, so, a kid? Great. Just what he didn't want.]

..but he knows how shit is around here, and he can't starve a kid. Besides, it's Ein's fault. Ein's the one who'll be punished, probably.]

At least introduce yourself.

[he gestures at the little makeshift stove while Ein gathers himself up to hurry over to that space and wait for her.]

[ well, he's right about one thing. she's child-sized. close enough, right? she just flashes him a winning smile when he complains (yes, she's very shameless, thanks for noticing), only semi-paying attention to him because she's following ein to get at his belly for tummy rubs!!! ]

I have no idea what you're talking about, mister.

[ that's a coy response to the shameless comment..... at long last. she's still smiling innocently, though. she clasps her hands together and bows her head. ]

I'm Maya! Maya Fey. And you must be some kind of master chef, because that smells really good.

[ he probably wouldn't be fooled by this but does she get points for kissing ass? does she get food for kissing ass? ]

[Shameless seems to be the theme of this whole camp. Fittingly, Spike sounds pretty smug when he answers---]

Only a true fool could mess up beef and bell peppers.

[To which Ein blurts a little 'rrroof?' (sounds fake, but ok). He doesn't make too much of a deal of Spike's embellishing, but he does remember a certain incident. Still, he's focused on getting bellyrubs, and leaves further introductions to the person who can speak.]

Chef Spike, your one-time source of charity this evening. That's Ein, if you can't read english.

[It's not a slight; rather, a real possibility where he's from.]

Edited 2018-05-04 06:17 (UTC)

[ honestly? she doesn't understand dog, but it does sound fake. but maya knows better than to insult someone who's making her food....... before she's eaten, anyway. ein's gonna get ear scritches. ]

Spike? Are you a vampire?

[ why is that her first thought....... ] Ein is soooo cute! If I have to be hopelessly lost, I'm glad it's with him... and also you too, I guess. [ she guesses??? ] As long as this isn't a ruse to drink my blood or something.

[ wow. ]

[There's a pretty obvious contortion of Spike's face in confusion as he wonders where the hell that one came from, even as he tries to pass it off.]

That's right, I'm gonna fatten you up before I eat you. [He snorts.] Maybe that'd make sharing worth it. You're lucky I'm not into cannibalism yet.

[Ein doesn't seem the least bit concerned, however. This girl isn't a threat to them and Spike isn't a threat to this girl, so he can continue reveling in her attention while missing Ed.]

I'll have you know that I'm delicious. [ don't brag about that maya, wtf????? anyway ]

Why'd you said "yet"? Should I be worried...?

[ she doesn't look it though, too busy spoiling the dog and awaiting free food. ]

[Ein, however, is the better cook, and leaps up from Maya's lap to snag his skewer of beef and no-bell-peppers. Spike might appreciate the burn-warning deep down, but he still gives a frustrated groan and lifts a few of the skewers up as though Ein can't be trusted. The one being offered to Maya is moreso being awkwardly shoved past the heat of the cooking embers as though Ein could somehow jump over it.]

You should always be worried. Didn't your family tell you not to talk to strangers, kid?

[ ein is so smart....... maya would be impressed, but she's just as quick to grab the food. ] Ahh, chow time! It smells great!

[ compliments to the chef, probably. she makes a little face at the comments (too soon, Spike!) but bypasses them with a breezy grin. ]

Well, you guys aren't strangers anymore! That's Ein, the cutest doggie in.... wherever we are.... and you're Mr. Spike, a vampire in training who occasionally cooks meals for adorable girls. See! We're acquainted!

[ she takes a bite out of the food and immediately burns her tongue because she didn't wait thirty seconds for it to cool down. ] Mmff! Ffot!

[Ein is ten times smarter than the combined mental force of the two goons in front of him, it would seem, and has patience.]

Well aren't you bold. [Adorable? Almost as shameless as him.

Smirking as Maya burns her tongue, Spike mouths off while he's about to eat his own.]

And don't call me mi-- mih'ther--

[The word is muffled when, mid sentence, Spike shoves meat in his own mouth. It is still hot. He has made the same mistake.

He cannot allow his mistake to show even as he blows hot air around the meat in his mouth ow ow ow--]

[ that's why he's the best one in the thread. ]

Iff thue, isn't ith?

[ glad he made the same mistake as she did. she keeps eating despite having his tongue burned, but she's watching his display and trying not to laugh. yeah, she noticed. ]

A good part of i'sh wrong, [drones Spike, gesticulating with his skewer like the shittiest professor. At least he swallows before his next sentence.]

Ein there is also the smartest dog in the world. A data dog.

[Ein's ears perk up and he yips affermatively, proud of the ego stroke, but also well aware a second ego stroke for Spike himself is due.]

And I'm much cooler than a vampire. I'm a bonafide bounty hunter, little miss Maya.

I believe it! [ wow, she's managed to swallow her food and talk in full sentences, what a miracle. ] He does look like a very smart doggie. One that can keep vampires at bay.

[ and now she's torn. because the thing is, a bounty hunter does sound really cool. but this guy also kind of seems like a dork (even if he's feeding her), so.... she needs a little more testimony. ]

A real bounty hunter? What kind of bounties do you hunt? Do you have a helmet?

[ the fate of his coolness rests on these answers.... ]

Ah-- [He stops for a moment, wondering about the helmet, before he just creases his brows, sighs, and moves on to explain--]

Only in space. Only place I need one.

[He continues to eat, not too bothered despite his eyes showing how clearly he finds her weird.

It's refreshing. Like Ed. Ein seems content, too, gnawing his beef while sitting next to Maya's ankles.]

And I hunt the big bounties. Killers, drug cartel, syndicate goons who aren't slick. I don't waste my time on small fry.

[ of course she believes the dog, ein is perfect and can do no wrong. then there's still vampire, with cotton candy hair fluff!!! ]

Gimme an example!

[ okay she can't hide her excitement. she's an easy mark. she even leans forward a little. ] Tell meeee.... about your coolest case!

'Case', huh?

[Spike takes the opportunity to chew on another piece of beef and rub the back of his neck. He's not at all convinced that this isn't just a ploy for storytime, but the thing is... He sure loves to hear himself talk.

Still, he won't give in quite so easily. (After all, that means he gets to talk more.)]

I dunno, kid, it's heavy stuff. Someone like you... A spiritualist? You sure you want to hear a story like that?

[ not gonna lie she's kind of picturing the bounty hunter business like a slicker private eye. ]

Ace spiritualist, thanks. [ if he's gonna puff himself up so is she! ] And I bet I've dealt with way darker stuff. So quit stalling! Or are you just making this whole thing up to impress me?

[ like nick does in court!!! ]

Ace Spiritualist. My bad.

[With the slightest of smirks, Spike holds up his hands in mock surrender.]

Fine, fine. Coolest case...

[All the same, he takes a moment to rub his neck and gnaw on another pepper. Coolest case. It's tiring to think about after everything else that's happened. Is the life of a bounty hunter really all that cool?]

Let me ask you then-- have you ever been to Callisto?

[But before she can answer, he holds up a finger.]

I know you haven't. And you're too young for that. [So don't even think about it.] It's a cold world out there five planets from the sun.

Edited (fucking it's the moon not the planet) 2018-05-23 22:15 (UTC)

Much better. [ she looks smug..... maybe because this guy is indulging her, versus most people who think spirit channeling is a scam. yikes. ]

[ she opens her mouth to respond --- then pouts when he cuts her off. she knows he thinks she's a child, but is there a minimum age to go to a freaking moon? ]

Hey, c'mon! I didn't even know you could go out that far in space --- how do I know you're not just making this up? Maybe you should take me there.

[ just saying. ]

I just said you shouldn't go to Callisto! There's nothing for you there, anyway. Or for me, for that matter.

[There is definitely a minimum age to go to a moon when that moon is essentially a giant gay bar.

Spike shakes his head and pouts as well, looking past Maya at the stars as if to spite the universe with his glare.]

Besides, even if I had my baby with me, the Swordfish II's a one-seater. Not a chance.

I just figured you were making it up 'cause you didn't want to share any of the fun.

[ look he may not be able to see the pout, but he can feel it. ]

We'll see about that. [ that sounded... almost ominous. ] Anyway, continue with your story already!

[ she says, like she isn't the one who interrupted him.... ]

Well then quit interrupting me!

[Spike grumbles, shaking his half-eaten stick of beef and bell peppers at Maya. Ein huffs at him, and Spike's the one to growl, leaning back and tearing off another chunk of veg.]

See? Now I don't remember where I was. I'm gonna have to start over.

It's cause you were talking about Callisto and how you were too chicken to take me there.

[ okay maya. ]

[ she pets ein, stretching her legs out and giving him a challenging grin. gosh, how old is this guy that he doesn't remember his stories? ]

Then make it good, Mr. Spike.

[ is she saying this out of genuine respect or further teasing?? mystery. ]

Well excuse me for assuming some little cult girl doesn't have any interest in a planet full of gay bars.

[Grumps Spike further, taking Maya's tone for facetiousness whether she's meant it or not. Ein, preoccupied with Maya's petting, could not give less of a shit about how Spike's putting up his foot on his chosen seat-rock, talking with food in his mouth like some kind of criminal goblin. He's made of great impressions.]

You're probably more suited to Venus or Mars anyway, if you made your way out there.

[ honestly maya's never been to any kind of bar, so the idea is highly intriguing, but as soon as the words 'cult' come out of his mouth she's puffing up indignantly!!! literally, even, she's giving him the ol' pufferfish face. how intimidating. ]

It's not a cult! It's spirit channeling!

[ which does little to dissuade him, probably. ] A-A very respectable line of mediums, thank you very much!

[ it's totally derailed her tbh ]

[It's derailed her, and it would seem it's derailed Spike as well. His eyes are wide in surprise, suddenly, and he puts his feet back on the ground, leaning his elbows on his knees.]

Well, I'll be.

So you're the real deal, are you?

[He tips his head forward, eyes on her expectantly. could this be the right card to play??]

[ she's nearly bratty enough to break out spirit channeling just to prove him wrong, but only nearly. it's a bit of a sore spot, though, misty and all. ]

Sure am! So watch it, or you just might get cursed!

[ idle (???) threats, though, that totally proves how legit and respectable she is, right. she's balling her fists up, too, she means (???) business (???) ]

49th ♫ | I've been walking for much too long

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hi i'm alive

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