90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[dreamform]

[Nonsexual intimacy is a thing, and a very important one at that. It's only going to occur to Riku in this moment that it's not something they've indulged in overmuch, mostly because Riku just...hadn't gone that far yet. He'd gotten to the point of kissing Roxas, sometimes holding his hand, but today has been the most they've ever done. Roxas actually knows what it all means, too, and that's going to make a big difference going forward.

So when Roxas stares at him for so long like he's a puzzle he's trying to piece together, Riku starts to open his mouth to ask what the matter is, only to be cut off when Roxas repositions himself to lay against him. He blinks a time or two, slowly, one of his hands hovering in the air just above Roxas's shoulders before he slowly lays it against his back, his other hand coming up to lazily rest against the back of his head.

He lets his head drop forward a little, pressing a kiss to the crown of the blonde's hair.]

You pick up on stuff fast.

[thirteenth]

...so this is normal? [Roxas is asking that quietly, eyes closing as he settles his weight against Riku almost entirely.

[Normal or not, Roxas thought it would be comfortable. Turns out having a boyfriend with big arms means it's extra warm when he holds you. Roxas is happy with that.]

What else is normal for boyfriends?

[dreamform]

Yeah, it's normal.

[Cuddling after sex is probably the most normal thing you could do. It makes it infinitely more enjoyable than just parting ways after the fact, that's for sure. Plus, he just...likes the feeling of Roxas laying against him like this, wrapped up in his arms like that's where he's always belonged.]

I wouldn't say there are any rules, exactly...everyone's relationship is going to be different. [There are just usually a lot more agreed upon things you don't do in one.] But if I had to name a couple...you hang out, go on dates and stuff.

[He pauses, realizing he should probably explain what that means.]

A date is basically just the same as spending time with somebody, but it's just the two of you going out and doing stuff together.

[thirteenth]

[Roxas looks up at him without lifting his head off Riku's chest.]

So...a date is going out, and hanging out is staying in?

[...close, at least? Roxas is going to have one hell of a time figuring out euphemisms later.]

[dreamform]

[...cute...

Riku huffs a soft laugh, ruffling Roxas's hair.]

Not quite. A date can be pretty much anything you want to do. It's honestly really no different from hanging out with your friends...you're just doing it with your partner instead.

[He leans the side of his head against one of the back couch cushions, looking down at Roxas as he explains.]

I guess one thing friends don't always do is sleep together. Not always, but...that's how it tends to be most of the time.

[It's different when you're kids, and for some people well into adolescense. He's not about to tell Roxas he can't have a nap with somebody he's friends with, it's just a matter of personal preference really.]

[thirteenth]

[Roxas turns his head a little, idly laying a kiss against Riku's skin as he's speaking. But the sleeping idea...that has his interest.]

...like, in the same bed? [He's perked up a little when he asks.] People do that when they're together like that?

[dreamform]

[The idle kissing is nice, especially when- before all of this- Riku was the one to initiate pretty much everything between them. Roxas is starting to get more comfortable with it naturally, it seems. ]

Yeah. Especially after doing stuff like this...it's nice.

[Riku can't say it's something he's gotten to experience often. When they were much younger, he and Sora used to have sleepovers...but he hasn't done anything like that in what feels like decades at this point.]

[thirteenth]

[Roxas is pressing his nose into Riku's chest, taking a deep breath and just relaxing more.]

...I'd like that. Sleeping next to you. [A pause.] Or on top of you.

[dreamform]

[God, Roxas, could you BE any cuter if you tried...]

I mean...there's nothing stopping us from taking a nap right here, if you wanted. Sure feel like taking one right now...

[thirteenth]

[Roxas is going to tilt his head enough to make eye contact with Riku.]

...lay down. [He is in love with that idea. Riku, you are spoiling this boy. He's going to be addicted to using you as a bed.]

[dreamform]

[What can he say? He enjoys spoiling him, even if he hasn't realized yet what Roxas's insatiable urge for more is going to eventually be like. For now, it's innocent and harmless and he has absolutely zero issues with scooting down enough so that he's laying flat on his back, freeing up space for Roxas to lay across him.]

Better?

[thirteenth]

[Roxas is quick to get settled on top of Riku, legs tangling with his a little as he rests his head against Riku's chest once more. He takes a nice, deep breath, and sighs it out, content with the warmth and contact.]

Yeah. Way better. I'd sleep like this every night.

[dreamform]

[Roxas is the gangly sort, but also plenty short enough in comparison to Riku that the position isn't uncomfortable. Far from it, in fact. It's like the two were made to lay together like this with Roxas perfectly able to fit against him. With his expression softening where Roxas can't see, Riku puts his arms around him a bit more securely.]

Maybe that can be arranged.

[Well, at least sometimes anyway. With Riku busy with his keyblade Master duties, sometimes he's not always going to be right where Roxas is. Frustratingly. It's why he's been taking advantage of the time they can be together, and will be doing so even more now that they're officially a thing.]

Go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a little while.

[Whenever he eventually wakes himself, of course.]