90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

Lappland | Arknights | OTA

[messwithtexas]

[There's no such thing as success sex with this trash fire]

Erina Estival | OC | F/F only

[zweihandler]

[ quick ref impressions, and also i have an ooc kinklist here jic even if we are primarily just here to get stupid ]

[unmarkeddaughter]

[I propose: 3-7 plus 1-2, starring a FUCKING HAILSTORM OUT OF NOWHERE]

2-8

[gorira]

[ While perfectionist may not quite be the right word to describe her, Chitoge is very much the kind of person who takes great strides for things to go just right. One would think she'd know better than to rely on expectations, in a relationship with Erina Estival, but somehow, she hasn't learned that lesson yet. She was all nerves by the time the two of them had made it back to Chitoge's (ostentatious) bedroom, but she was confident that the timing felt right...after all, they've been "official" since Valentine's, and it felt like things had been moving at a nice, steady pace. Kissing was nice (like, really, really nice), but it was probably about time to move things along to the next stage, right?

She had decided to surprise her, a bit: it took a bit of shopping around, but she managed to find some lingerie that she thought would be perfect. High-waisted lace shapewear, frilly and pink. Girly, in a way that doesn't quite suit her personality, but intended to hug her curves just right. The reaction Chitoge had been expecting to get, when Erina dropped in on the sight of her wearing it, was a flustered one, something tongue-tied...but what she got instead, plain as day, was a laugh. Not quite as boisterous as the kind Chitoge's used to hearing, when Erina is pulling a jape on her, railroading her into a stupid bit...but unmistakably, unambiguously, she's chortling.

Chitoge doesn't quite feel like she's in on the joke, but she had been willing to chalk it up to nerves, or something along those lines...that is, until it happened again, the moment Chitoge leaned in to kiss her neck. And while the sound of that laugh normally gives Chitoge butterflies in her gut, tonight it has her feeling like she's making a fool of herself.

There's a soft little shove (also quite unlike her, that she pushes so gently), to interrupt the giggling, and she can feel her cheeks turning the same shade of pale red as her underwear. ]

Estival, what the hell is your problem?! [ She all but squawks out, barely able to look the other girl in the face. But rather than angry, she sounds more upset, than anything else. The red ribbon that holds her ponytail in place is nowhere to be found, so her disheveled blonde hair is falling to and fro on top of her head; she's far too flustered to fix it. ] I'm doing my best, here..!

Garnet Bellerose | OC | OTA

[eventidings]

[ quick ref, impressions, a kinklist to help us later

claire can have little a picking on garnet content as a treat ]

outside/2 we're going all in, will assume modern au unless Garnet's into bug people

[toaflame]

[While Adrian isn't, like...the most conscientious person in the world, he at least tries to halfway prepare for shit like this. Like sure, he's fine with spontaneity when it's wanted, but he also doesn't want to be caught with his metaphorical pants down when he's supposed to be the one who has everything ready, here.

So it's like...more than a little awkward when you realize both you and your girlfriend are in The Mood, only to head over to the dresser to dig around for lube and condoms and o o p s where is literally anything.

Like, what he needs isn't just absent- the entire drawer is bone-dry empty. He makes a face, checking the next one down, then one over...it's like someone cleaned it out while he wasn't looking.]

The hell...?

Yuri | Doki Doki Literature Club | ota

[impurifies]

[ ooc kinklist have fun kids ]

Akane Shinjo | SSSS.GRIDMAN | ota

[insculpt]

[ ooc kinklist

WHY AM I PICKING ON SO MANY PURPLE GIRLS ON THIS MEME LMFAOOOOO ]

Mental 4

[messwithtexas]

[ Akane, the affably sadistic god. Lappland, the violent and violently-friendly wolf girl. Clearly a match made in hell.

The two of them had been vibing pretty hard at each other for a while, although nothing serious had come of it. Until tonight, hanging out for mostly-forgotten reasons at Akane's place. The mood finally feels right, and Lappland's only slightly drunk. It's time to make her move. ]

Akane, listen. I'm tired of pretending I don't want this. I'm going to tell you exactly what it is I want.

[ She pulls her shirt off over her head, leans in seductively, and says what may turn out to be in the top five most regrettable sentences in her life: ]

I want you to touch me, Texas.

[ ...wait. ]

haru | beastars

[hopticulture]

[kinklist; there are so many ways things can go wrong...assumed CR/panfandom setting encouraged!]

Maya Fey | Ace Attorney | OTA

[missleadingquestions]

[ ooc kinklist and anything not listed is probably ok! Aus or game cr or otherwise assumed cr is all fine too]

Kazuichi Souda | Dangan Ronpa Series | OTA

[creamsouda]

[list and again aus or canon or other assumed cr is all good]

rng gave me outside/7 so here we fuckin' go, probably a modern au here

[dreamform]

[Riku and Souda had known each other for a while, about a year or so, but actually dating hadn't come along until very recently. It was a surprisingly casual affair- one of them had asked, maybe even blurted a hasty confession of feelings, and it had been reciprocated- and then just like that? They were together. A Thing. You'd think it would have been a lot more dramatic or full of fanfare, but no...it just sort of happened. Not that he'd complain. It's nice when things happen easily, for a change.

No, the difficult part seems to be actually finding ways to express affection. Riku had been used to being around Sora and Kairi for most of his young life, both of them outgoing and energetic in different ways. Kairi was sassy and kept them in line, while Sora was a fountain of boundless optimism who got down at basically nothing ever. Riku...was sort of the opposite of all of that, originally quiet, brooding, and constantly seeking to prove himself. Things had mellowed out as he got older and got sense kicked into him a few times, sure, but that still meant having to learn to get along with personalities he wasn't quite used to...

Souda was an exceptionally talented person. Riku had never met such a proficient mechanic. Hell, needing to get his bike fixed was how the two had met in the first place. On top of being talented, he was just an all around fun guy to be around, but in the midst of all of that was someone who tended to wildly switch between hiding behind the cover of a punk while also being very, very flighty. It wasn't something he'd really understood on an intimate level until they started going out, and even if their relationship hadn't really gotten close to being serious or anything...well, it was something you could feel. The nerves were palpable whenever they kissed, or if Riku sat back with an arm wrapped around Souda's shoulders. Even just the little things seemed like a lot. All Riku wanted was to make sure Souda was happy and comfortable with not just him, but what they were doing...but it as hard sometimes, wanting to please him so badly while also not accidentally taking things too far.

Riku had driven them on his bike to the park today for the sake of just spending some time together outdoors while they were both rarely free from work. He figured he might as well spend as much time with him as he could while he wasn't having to talk to him from beneath the body of a car, after all. He'd been so intent on bringing them out here today that he hasn't yet noticed the dark clouds starting to form in the distance, not quite yet enough to cover the sun. He stops and kills the engine, putting out a foot to hold the bike up as he waits for Souda to slide off the side.]

Sorry if things got a little bumpy, back there.

Izuku Midoriya | OTA

[mightdoriya]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!]

[floatsaway]

((ooc: Okay, but 8 or 9 for mental blocks is so them, but also I have a hilarious wildcard option...

Izuku's All Might collection makes them too uncomfortable to even get undressed because he's WATCHING FROM EVERY ANGLE.))

Legosi | Beastars | OTA

[bigsadwolf]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!]

a variation of like, 'not working'/'nervous' and...minute man if you want to go Extra

[hopticulture]

[She knows exactly what she wants out of her first night officially staying over as a live-in girlfriend. It's something she's been wanting for awhile, what they've been avoiding ever since their first sleepover at the love hotel, and though she's got a scope of how he looks down there, the logistics of whether or not they can even work physically, she's been...well, she can't practice, but she's prepared.

Legosi is, of course, the type who takes things slow. Content to just hold her hand, be in her company. Even kisses were still hard to come by when compared to the other guys she's been with. But...this is a relationship that takes time, for better or for worse. And as she tucks herself in next to him for the first night in what will hopefully be the rest of her life (her short...now-sexless life....) she wants him in the worst way.

So she'll take the reigns, eat him tonight so to speak, and what starts as simply spooning his arm turns to her climbing up on him, sitting herself astride on his chest, looking down at him eye-to-eye. It's dark, but the lights from the city outside are just enough where she can make out everything she wants to see. Leaning forward, she cups his muzzle between small hands, giving him a kiss similar in intent and intensity to their first real kiss.

She might have taken the initiative but...she wants to gauge this for him too. Enough where it's not pressuring him into something he doesn't want to do, but at the same time...look. This is something she's been wanting for a long time.]

Legosi...let's try tonight, ok?

[Said if either he or she pulls back first from the kiss, holding his gaze. She doesn't want him removing her from him, turning over to say goodnight, without stating what she wants.]

Link | BOTW | OTA

[hyahro]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!

Note: I've been playing Link so far (in his most canon form) as being completely non-verbal, preferring to communicate soley through body language and also plenty of cues through meta text. If this doesn't work for you let me know, I'm totally fine with working with an AU where he either does speak (probably minimally but enough to communicate) or speaks through sign language.]

Collin | OC | M/M

[herballistic]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!]

Adrian Cinnabar | OC | OTA

[toaflame]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!]

Outside 8

[messwithtexas]

[Adrian and Lappland are... friends. Not lovers, not friends with benefits, not even especially close friends. Lappland's slightly unhinged personality tended to make that difficult.

Which is why it was perhaps a bit unexpected when Adrian's phone lit up with a photo sent from Lappland. A very sexually explicit photo. With no other information or context.

Your move, bro.]

Nagi Naoe | Weiss Kreuz | OTA

[unkinder]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!]

[scratchitti]

So here's the question: pokeverse or current monster verse. Or some option 3? B3c

Riku | Kingdom Hearts | OTA

[dreamform]

[OOC kink list here! Assumed CR is fine!

YES THIS IS CHI AGAIN LOL...I've been trying my hand at Riku secretely on the side shh dont tell anyone

Anyway I'd love more practice with him and what better way right, jazzhands, I'll make a journal for Sora too once I finish 3- that said pls no end-game 3 spoilers, anything else is fair game]

Winging it, fuck the prompts

[thirteenth]

[So in this happy canon-adjacent realm where everything is perfect and all incapacitated parties are reunited, Riku and Roxas have taken a bit of a liking to each other. Between the races, the roughhousing, and the very invigorating sparring matches, this was an inevitability.

[The kissing, Roxas could follow. He doesn't know what they're doing, but he knows his whole body feels like it's on fire and that everywhere Riku touches is tingling. His mind is hazy, and he's been led to the couch in the lounge next to the room they were training in so smoothly that he doesn't even remember getting here, just that he's been pressed into the cushions and that being pinned here is the most welcome he's ever felt in restraints.

[But something...more is happening. His body is reacting in ways he's never felt. There's clearly an end goal here, but he doesn't know what. And so despite how well he's taken all of this, how ready he seems to be to continue, he is going to be breaking their incredibly insistent kissing and asking, in a voice a lot more affected than he realizes:]

Riku... What are we doing?

[Congrats, your boyfriend doesn't know what sex is. Or that you're probably boyfriends. Or what being a boyfriend means.]

kirishima eijiro | bnha/mha

[machismost]

[ ooc; I'm up for anything that doesn't happen regularly in the bathroom, but feel free to ask if you're unsure. Assumed CR is fine! ]

Calypso Dynamite | OC | OTA

[calrippedso]

[Info's on journal, assumed CR and panfandom settings are fine. 18+ characters only please.]

Roxas | Kingdom Hearts | OTA

[missingache]

[I have no kink list, but a lot of kinks, so if in doubt hit me up by PM or chromatus. Also KH3 compliant!]

outside/1

[dreamform]

[Riku and Roxas had been together for a while now. Not long enough to feel like forever, but just enough time for Riku to wonder what he'd been doing before he'd been spending so much time with Roxas. Well, outside of trying to essentially save the worlds. But it was just...nice. He can't recall the last time he felt this way around someone, if ever. Sure, he'd always had a strong rivalry with Sora, and one could mistake that with an attempt to impress Kairi, but at the end of the day the trio were strong friends and nothing more. Roxas, on the other hand...

He was different. Not just a friend, but more.

Of course, it wasn't always easy for Riku to show his affection when there were rarely any chances these days to get Roxas alone to himself. He had plenty of others to catch up with after all, people who he had much stronger ties with than Riku for one reason or another. He of course takes advantages of those chances he gets, however slim. But god, sometimes he just wants to...

Kiss him. Which is what he's doing now, having coaxed Roxas with him away from the hustle and bustle of their surroundings. For the time being it's just the two of them, Riku gently carding his fingers through Roxas's bangs to brush them off his forehead as he kisses the corner of his mouth, then guides his way back to his lips proper. They haven't been interrupted, at least not yet. Riku isn't holding his breath, but maybe this is the time they'll finally get lucky.]

Weiss Schnee | RWBY | OTA

[dustprincess]

[I have no kink list, but a lot of kinks, so if in doubt hit me up by PM or chromatus. Seen Volume 8 so stuff from that season is fine.]

Shoto Todoroki | My Hero Academia | OTA

[dangertohands]

[I have no kink list, but a lot of kinks, so if in doubt hit me up by PM or chromatus. Am caught up with current manga chapters.]

8 ♦ I'm fine...

[sorry_sorry]

[ Heroing was neat; not that Tsubaki got to do much of it, considering that she had healing spit. But what was better were dates. And dates like this one, that were getting significantly more steamy the closer they got to Tsubaki's bedroom, were the best.]

It's fine if you want to only get to third base tonight, but that still means you have to take off your shirt, Shoto-kun.

[Ah, Tsubaki Sunakawa, blunt as ever.]