90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[unkinder]

[There will be plenty of that where that came from, don't you worry Neku.

If nothing else, Nagi is receptive to the attention. He sort of rumbles out a sound under his breath- very much like a purr, really- as Neku will feel giant paws gently kneading against his back. There's a danger of his claws coming out and stabbing him, but he seems to be able to keep them within his toes well enough...even if that's hard to do when the kneading slowly becomes a bit more forceful the further Neku dares to take him in.]

[unlivinglegend]

[As he works himself down a bit more Neku can feel the growing pressure against his spine, pinning him down and forcing his legs to spread further around Nagi's bulk. The fur feels shockingly good against his cock, so without even thinking about it he starts grinding down against it. He SHOULDN'T be hard already, and he isn't- but he's getting close to it.

The spines are soft enough to not hurt his pallet, but once they brush the back of his throat he makes a displeased 'gurk' sound and has to pull off, spit dripping down both Nagi's dick and his chin]

Ngh... damn it...

[unkinder]

[Nagi doesn't mind Neku's shifting. If anything, he encourages it with the way he responds in kind, rocking his body up to meet Neku's with a movement slight enough that he may as well not be moving, yet for Neku it will feel like much more. The benefits of working with someone much smaller than you, it seems.

He isn't going to force Neku to take more of him than he's able, and judging by that sound he just made he's probably not going to be able to do much. Neku will feel a paw move against his back again, this time moving up to the back of his neck to rest there.]

< Don't try to swallow the whole thing. Just lick it. >

[unlivinglegend]

[He groans at the slight movement, which to his smaller frame is almost like the rocking of a wave. Damn, at this rate he was going to come all over Nagi's plush fur]

You say that, but putting your paw there says otherwise.

[He's kidding, Nagi isn't putting any weight behind the paw after all, and Neku takes the advice and goes back to licking. Even so, his voice is a bit jagged and raspy from the choking. He SHOULD just use the mental speech but damn it's hard to focus like this... His mind translates well enough at least, on instinct]

[unkinder]

[Nagi sort of huffs out a breath in reply at that comment, but if that was supposed to get him to be more careful with his paws, well...it falls on deaf ears. The kneading is more of a reflexive thing than intentional anyway, so Neku should consider himself lucky that he hasn't been accidentally pitched off Nagi's body wholesale yet. Instead, he's managing to stay mostly put as he lathes his tongue over Nagi's length, eliciting a deep, rumbling purr from the creature.]

< You can move, if it feels good to you. >

[unlivinglegend]

< R... right. >

[It's permission, and it's enough to make Neku start rutting more overtly. His cock slides against silky fir, smearing pre-come everywhere- and pressing more roughly actually lets him reach harder flesh occasionally, sending jolts through his body at the more direct stimulation.

Arousal spikes fresh through his thoughts, and he starts getting more sloppy with his mouth, sucking on the side of the alien length and rubbing his tongue against the barbs like he would a clit- not that he has the experience to make that comparison himself]

[unkinder]

[Lack of experience is totally lost on Nagi, who hasn't experienced this kind of direct stimulation before. Being of a largely feral species (though intelligent), it isn't as if he hasn't cleaned himself before, but this is more...direct and intended for pleasure. It's difficult to hide how he feels about it, especially when Neku's own feelings are skittering overtly across their telepathic connection. It's enough to rile him up further, causing the fur all along his spine and the back of his neck to raise as his paws seek to tug and pull the human closer to his body.

There's a moment when Neku becomes a bit more forceful in his movements that Nagi growls, but even though it sounds scary, there's no aggression to be sensed in it. Even more pressing is the way he suddenly curves his body forward, effectively mashing Neku harder into his belly while also giving himself the room to lick the back of his neck.

Then, after a moment of searching, he finds the middle of his nape and affixes his teeth there, nipping. It's light enough not to break skin, but very present. If Nagi wanted to, he could easily snap Neku's neck; instead, he nibbles the sensitive skin there much like he would if he were grooming himself.]

[unlivinglegend]

[The sudden movement makes him gasp against Nagi's cock, gripping harder as he pressed against his belly. The firmer sensation makes his hips jerk and grind, but not for long- the press of teeth makes him freeze. Not out of fear, exactly. Being able to feel Nagi's intent is a great advantage when it comes to that. But his body still reacts, going taut and vibrating with adrenaline. His dick pulses from it, and he practically whines.]

[unkinder]

[Nagi would be hard pressed to miss that kind of response. He's actually briefly surprised by Neku's lack of fear, though it's under the surface just a touch. Wary, out of necessity. It's absolutely more overt pleasure than anything, and realizing that makes Nagi purr with amusement. He wishes he could get to Neku more directly, curious to see what that human arousal is doing where he can only feel it, but oh well...

He licks his rough tongue across the back of Neku's neck, slowly.]

< Good? >

[unlivinglegend]

< Very >

[ 'said with a pleased groan at the lick. It should be uncomfortable with Nagi's rough tongue, but Neku enjoyed how it made his skin sensitive]

< But you know I'm supposed to be getting YOU off, not the other way around... >

[Not that he minds too much, but he did have a goal here, damn it]

[unkinder]

[Nagi almost laughs at that, a funny little huff-chitter in the back of his throat.]

< Well, I'm not stopping you... >

[And his cock is still very much there for you to do with as you please, Neku. For what it's worth, he's getting close now himself, especially after that nice display that Neku just gave him.]

[unlivinglegend]

< You're DISTRACTING >

[He laughs as well, pondering]

< Here, I'm gonna move some- >

[It's a little awkward since he's so splayed on Nagi, but with some wiggling (and gasping from his cock rubbing against fur) he manages to roll over and slide down... putting Nagi's cock between his knees. Like this the size difference is even more obvious, and Neku gulps a bit. A deep breath and he takes the other in his hands again, using his thighs to rub and frot at the base.]

[unkinder]

[Nagi tries to keep still so Neku can more easily reposition himself, watching him with curious eyes that somehow seem to flash in the darkness. It might be a scary sight to some, but for Neku it's a familiar one by this point.

Nagi isn't sure what to expect until Neku starts to move, eliciting a low, pleased rumble from him as his own hips buck upwards against Neku a bit, reflexively. He tries to keep still mostly so he doesn't throw him off...but it's hard.]

< Clever... >

[unlivinglegend]

[The shallow thrust pushes Nagi's cock against his own, and Neku's head lolls back as he groans]

< Heh... see, I can have the occasional good idea. You... can keep doing that if you want >

[ Nagi is too big for Neku to touch them both at once with his hands, but pressing his thighs together works just as well. Giving something for Nagi to buck into]

[unkinder]

[Be careful what you say, Neku, you might be biting off more than you can chew here...not that Nagi is really thinking about that right now, even if he maybe should be. He's too horny to consider what Neku's body might be put through if he doesn't take this carefully, but like...he said it was okay, didn't he?

So, Nagi will reach out and put his paws more firmly on Neku basically wherever he can reach. Without opposable thumbs he can't exactly grab onto his hips properly, but he can at least sort of curve his paws around them while keeping his claws sheathed to avoid pricking his skin. He licks another long stripe up the back of Neku's neck with his sandpaper tongue, rumbling as he nuzzles his face there before beginning to move his hips against him in earnest, animalistic and a bit clumsy but very much purposeful.]