69th ♫ | nice

[mytarget]

texting meme y'all know what to do (or not!! this can just be a gen texting meme too!!!)

Comments

[zweihandler]

if someone held me at gunpoint and told me to rat out which of my friends are most likely to be vampires u would be numbers one through ten on my list

[mementomoritz]

aw, thanks!

i think i'm more undead henchwoman material, though?
(i mean, anything can be undead henchman material if you add enough sutures, but that's not the point.)
you know who would be really good at being a cool vampire lord?

zuri.

i bet she could pull off standing dramatically on a castle balcony in a big cape really well.

[zweihandler]

lmao fuck. holy shit this actually explains everything.

this is why she's always raggin on me to clean my room. she doesn't give a shit about the mess but obviously she's compelled to drop to the floor and count all my trash

[mementomoritz]

i'm surprised anyone can count that high.....
have we ever seen her eat garlic???

[zweihandler]

zuri doesn't eat food that tastes good. she just absorbs tasteless nutrition blocks and photosynthesizes.

Guess who missed this notif~~

[mementomoritz]

wait really???
because i engineered a symbiote that let me do that and they made me take it out.
something about it being a distraction when i started sprouting??
it was super unfair.

[zweihandler]

im fucking begging you to tell me this is a joke
i won't believe you but i need to hear you say it anyway

[ "PLEASE SAY SIKE" ]

[mementomoritz]

[Dutifully, Mercy replies:]

"this is a joke"

[She never jokes about science and you know it, Erina.]

[zweihandler]

thanks. you're a true friend, even if you are 1) a fucking liar and 2) a danger to the public at large.

[mementomoritz]

i'm always happy to help. :D
you're a pretty good friend too, even if you want to keep your organs all boring.
(the offer's open if you ever change your mind on that.)
you don't need to worry, though- the man from the CDC said my lab didn't break any medical safety laws.
they said my research had "disturbing existential implications"?? but those aren't illegal so it's fine. :D :D

[zweihandler]

mercy i say this as your friend
with all the gay sappy feelings friendship implies
but the only time you will ever get to fiddle around with my organs is when i'm fucking dead and i literally cannot say no to you

[mementomoritz]

oh wow can i get that in writing?
they usually don't let me have bodies unless they got donated to science

[...She still seems to acquire a surprisingly large amount of corpses, though.]

i promise i will check to be 100% sure you're dead before i do anything

[zweihandler]

ok here's the deal:
buy me lunch at the good place on campus for 1 month and no less and you get free reign to do whatever freaky science shit to my body you want once i drop dead and scoot off the mortal plain
sound good?

[mementomoritz]

DEAL!!

[She's so fucking happy. At least Erina's getting lunch out of it?]

[zweihandler]

joke's on you, mortiz
i don't plan on dying, ever
thanks for the lunch !

[mementomoritz]

that would make you even more medically fascinating!
i'll take notes on my observations of you every lunchtime until you die <3 <3

[Friend... ship...?]

[zweihandler]

wild how that isn't even in the top ten most stalker-y things i've ever heard you say. u rly are coming unhinged huh mercy

[mementomoritz]

i probably was never hinged to begin with

[A pause, and then:]

wait, does that make me a sliding door??

[This is a serious question.]

[zweihandler]

what KIND of sliding door tho
like are you one of those paper ones they have in japan and shit?
this is important.

[ it's REALLY not. ]

[mementomoritz]

maybe one of those neat futuristic-looking glass ones??
the kind that open automatically

[In a moment of self-awareness:]

probably with some warning labels stenciled on the front
maybe a biohazard symbol

[zweihandler]

i was thinking more along the lines of "abandon all hope ye who enter here"
but yours is cute too