76th ♫ | magical fizzy drink

[mytarget]

texting meme y'all know what to do (or not!! this can just be a gen texting meme too!!!)

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[zweihandler]

[ She's at once relieved but also intensely disappointed to be on her own two feet again. Being gay and friends with Penny is so bad for her heart. ]

I mean– for what it's worth, if I became evil, I probably wouldn't advertise it? And definitely not to you, because as we've just established, you could easily get my ass. So like, maybe don't be too worried if I talk about doing evil shit, but if I actually start, you know, DOING doing it, maybe then you should fight me.

[in4apounding]

Hm. You're definitely clever like that.

[penny please]

...Are you particularly worried about turning evil? Should I keep more of an eye out than usual?

[zweihandler]

Not really? I don't feel any more evil than usual, anyway. Aside from the whole simmering resentment over having to do lines thing but I don't think I'm any more likely to commit crimes than usual over it.

[ Coming from Erina, this is less than reassuring. ]

[in4apounding]

So we should do something to defuse that before it festers into true evil.

[Penny goes silent for a moment, staring at a blank spot on the floor.]

Do you want to prank her? Something harmless, I mean, nothing that would actually hurt anyone.

[zweihandler]

[ Immediately: ]

I want to prank Zuri every single waking moment of the day. Hell yes.

[ Local Sword Lesbian Signs Her Own Death Warrant ]

[in4apounding]

[No, no, naw, no, it'll obviously be fine and have no negative repercussions ever.]

Sensational! ...what should we do, I've never helped prank anyone before.

[zweihandler]

Oh shit. Penny, do I get to introduce you to the gilded halls of pranking? Hell yes.

[ Erina looks entirely too gleeful about this. ]

Okay, first off, do you know pranking rule zero? The golden rule. You never pull a prank on someone who's not gonna get it, or one that's gonna really fuck with them. If it gets someone hurt or makes them cry or whatever, it's not a prank, you're just being an asshole.

[in4apounding]

That is an excellent rule.

[She'd kind of assumed the last part, at least, was taken as read, but it was probably good having it in writing. Sort of.]

So something that will be confusing but not hurt her.

[think think think]

Oh! Oh. Idea! ....What if. We signed her up for one of those pie of the month clubs. BUT DON'T TELL HER WHO THEY'RE FROM.

[This is a stroke of genius, clearly.]

Baked goods from nowhere! That will be super confusing, right?

[zweihandler]

[ Thoughtfully: ]

That's not a bad start... but Zuri's, like, super anal. I feel like that would mildly concern her but not really get her riled up, you know? It has to inconvenience her a little. Maybe we'll sign her up to a bunch of subscription things but like, stagger them out so even if she cancels one? There's always more coming.

[in4apounding]

That is absolutely brilliant.

[Spoken with exactly zero irony.]

We could find a bunch of those free newsletter subscriptions, that kind of thing?

[zweihandler]

Perfect.

[ Erina gives her a grin and then reaches out and gives her shoulder a friendly little bop. ]

You're a genius, Polendina. We'll set her up with so much junk mail she won't be able to fucking move for paper.

[in4apounding]

Ooh, that's a lot of paper. Filling out that many forms could take a while, I should probably handle most of that party.

[Prank machine needs no rest.]

[zweihandler]

Hell yes. I'll do the recon. I haven't checked my mail in for fucking ever, I bet there's a ton of junkmail in there we can use for signing up to dumb bullshit for Zuri.

[in4apounding]

That's great! We can check for anything important you got at the same time. Multi-tasking!

[zweihandler]

You really think I actually ever get anything important in the mail?

[ you might if you ever fucking CHECKED IT, ERINA ]