oddsandends | 90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

Fail Sex♦The Meme

While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.

mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability.

outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that a threat?

[Riku smiles, pressing another brief kiss to the side of Roxas's temple before he makes his way down to the side of his neck, nuzzling him there with the bridge of his nose as he presses his lips in the same space afterwards.

The touch of lips is followed shortly after by the graze of his teeth- light, but firm enough for him to leave a mark that probably won't bruise.

Probably.]

[Far more of a guarantee than a threat. Though Roxas goes from feeling mild irritation to a "did it get hot in here?" mood. Trying not to make too much noise, he tilts his head to give more access to his neck.

And a moment later is very glad that his legs don't fail him. Somehow his face gets redder. Fine. That felt good. But Roxas wants to do something too!

So his free hand will just get moved to under Riku's belt. No fair that this is in the way of the shirt... he'll just have to tug as a clue to get that shirt untucked. Come on!!]

[Oh? The insistent tugging at the bottom edge of his shirt is enough to prompt Riku to look down at himself for a moment before giving a teasing roll of his eyes. It's moreso amused than anything, namely because Roxas could pretty easily just pull his shirt free himself without any intervention from Riku. But fine, he guesses.

He will return to the kissing though even as he's drawing his hands off Roxas just long enough to loosen the buckle on his belt just enough to easily pull his shirt free. The rest is free for the exploring, Roxas, because Riku isn't going to wait up for you. Instead, he's going to immediately put his hands back on your hips and search until he reaches bare skin first, tracing his fingers along his hipbones and around to the small of his back with a low hum against his pulse.

Riku hasn't noticed yet, but the secluded corner he'd conveniently found for all of this isn't quite so secluded anymore...namely, there are some people approaching from the distance. Slowly, and maybe they won't even come their way, but even so...the fact that other people will be in the vicinity makes this considerably more dangerous.]

[They may be dating, but Roxas still wants to ask if things are okay in any way he can. Maybe Riku wants to be the affectionate one, which the blond wouldn't mind, but he does like reciprocating. Getting to touch is very important to him. Important enough for him to choose to bite down on his lip to keep quiet so he can use both hands to get under that fabric. Letting his own fingers roam against muscles and skin, in the back of his mind wishing they were in a far more comfortable location. Ah well. This was good.

Jolting with those fingers tracing against his hips, Roxas softly whines, swallowing down the rest of the sound. So rude going for spots that would make him be noisy on purpose. Curiosity then kicks in and he digs nails into Riku's stomach, not too hard to hurt, just enough for the sensation as they are dragged down slowly.

Danger just adds to the excitement. Right? Right.]

[Right! It's all part of the thrill, really. It's good to see Roxas participating, mostly because Riku might have been mildly disappointed if he had too easy of a time getting Roxas all worked up here. That's not the guy he ended up falling for; the Roxas he knows is so competitive that he has half a mind to think that this may devolve into who can make the other make noise the fastest, but hey. He can't say he'd exactly complain over that development...

That said, the feeling of Roxas's nails dragging across his skin causes Riku's breath to catch, hitching under his breath as he ducks his head forward and takes a short step closer so he can lean his weight into him a bit more. It puts Roxas a touch firmer against whatever wall or pillar Riku has chosen to hide them behind, making it easier for him to lean in and kiss the side of his neck he hasn't been able to reach yet.]

Feels good...

[He tells him quietly, not being subtle really at all as the tips of his fingers sneak into the back of Roxas's pants. Just between the fabric of course, but it's about as suggestive as he can get without outright putting his hands IN his pants, so.]

[Riku already won the first round even if Roxas hadn't expected for things to move this fast. No complaints, though, since he's been feeling like he was getting too pent up. Sharing a home with his two best friends and Isa didn't make finding relief very easy with thin walls. It was thrilling to know that Riku felt the same. If they weren't on the same page, he would feel both like he wasn't good enough and that he might have to prove something.

Being pushed more into whatever they chose to hide behind was fine. It brought Riku closer and made access to run nails against the taller boy's sides much easier. He vaguely wonders if his boyfriend would be fine with being marked up with harder scratches.]

I could make it feel better.

[Oh. So that's where those hands had been heading to. Well, yeah, that was suggestive and rather obvious. Roxas can feel heat pool up in his stomach and is very, very tempted to undo Riku's belt as a sign that he'd be more than fine with speeding things up.]

Here?

[Normally, Riku would spend a bit more time on foreplay. Teasing Roxas, seeing what kinds of sounds he could coax out of him and how far he could get away with it before he's unable to hold himself back any longer. It's hard to say whether or not Riku actually intends on going too far to begin with when they're in such a public place, but even so...he'd be a liar if he didn't admit that it had a certain thrill to it that you simply wouldn't get in a space together alone.

And honestly, Roxas is free to mark him up as much as he wants. It's a nice reminder, and it isn't like Riku goes around shirtless all that often.]

Oh can you, now?

[It's almost like Riku is daring Roxas to show him, even as they can hear the occasional voice make their way to their location. Still far enough away to not be a threat, but ever present nonetheless.

He will nod his head a little to give permission for whatever Roxas wants to do. He's in your hands.]

[Honestly, if Riku had given a better heads up, Roxas could have taken him to a much better spot for this near the mansion. That's for future Roxas to lament about, though, as he digs nails in hard. Pulling down till he's at the hem of those pants with a rather wicked grin.]

Yup. If you don't mind getting unaddressed a bit.

[Screw those voices. He's undoing the belt buckle while keeping his ears open for Riku's reaction, not to strangers getting closer.]

[Okay, now things are starting to get more than just a little dangerous. Riku's brows make a bid for his hairline as he watches Roxas drag his nails all the way down to his pants, equally successful at dragging a barely bitten off moan out of him.]

I guess I don't mind.

[The exaggerated tone on "guess" is extra heavy-handed as he repositions himself so Roxas can get at him easier. He has to wonder just what Roxas is planning, as well as how brave he is to see what all he can get away with like this.

This should be fun.]

[Hmmm that's no good. Riku held back faster than Roxas thought he would. He wanted to hear more, even with the ever advancing, thankfully slow, voices coming their way.]

I could be more of a tease.

[Riku shouldn't worry toooo much. There's just going to be a hands snaking in between fabric, just like Riku did to Roxas. As much as the blond really wants to just outright touch, there has to be a little restraint.]

But I guess we can't take all day just teasing each other.

Nnn...

[Haha, oh dear. Looks like Roxas is giving him a taste of his own medicine, whatever shall he dooooo

Well, reach out to lay a hand against his head, for one. He lets his fingers slip back into Roxas's hair, threading through and back to cradle the back of his head as Riku tries to focus both on keeping his vocalizations to a minimum while also enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend's hands on him. It's the threat (or is it a promise?) of something more that keeps his interest piqued as he grips Roxas a little more firmly by the hair so he can tug on it teasingly.]

Do that, and we will end up getting caught.

[Or in a worse case scenario, caught in the middle of something, WHICH...would be just their luck, wouldn't it...]

[Roxas swallows down a moan as his hair is tugged. That feels too nice. He'll just rub his hands against Riku's thighs in revenge, keeping away well from where Riku might want them.]

Are you scared?

[He will see just how much he can push just because he really does not want to stop. Walking will be almost impossible if he tries to do that now.]

Scared? Me?

[If Roxas really wanted Riku to stay in this for the long haul, then he just said the magic words. He might be older and more mature, but his sense of competition hasn’t come close to leaving him. Of course, all of the bravado in the world won’t hide the way his thighs subtly tremble at Roxas’s touch, imperceptible from the outside but perfectly felt where he is.]

Think you got the wrong guy, there...

[The voices are still indistinct, but he’s starting to think maybe he recognizes the cadence of one or two in the crowd. He really hopes they aren’t who he thinks they are...]

Don’t forget who came onto you, first.

[This would be a lot more fun if Roxas was touching skin, but he needs to not be 100% reckless and risk-taking. Just about 50%. Maybe push it up to 75% by shifting his hands and giving those thighs a squeeze. He really does love the feel of all that muscle, and no he won't take criticism or admit it.]

I had Sora as a teacher about how to act on feelings. If you hadn't, nothing would have ever happened.

[How to feelings? Making a move was daunting when he wasn't sure if he was even allowed to like Riku. It felt taboo since this is Sora's best friend. Something something books with girls and romance talking about best friends being off limits.

Roxas would be happy with anyone that ended up with his best friends. Romance books are dumb.]

[Poor Roxas. That was honestly a non-issue when it came to Sora...Sora loved and cared about all of his friends with his whole heart and then some, but he's certainly not the type to become jealous over their affection. Far from it. His most likely reaction would involve both being ecstatic that two of his favorite people are so happy as well as insisting at every turn that he be let in on their secret love bird talk out of pure curiosity and nothing more.

...actually, that's kindof part of why Riku is really hoping that voice he's picking up isn't Sora's like he's fearing...]

I'm not so sure about that. I haven't really known you to back down from something you really want.

[Roxas is stubborn, but that's part of what he loves so much about him.]

[Sora was a good friend. Roxas still would rather not let his personal affairs be so open, not when he isn't ready for a potential "Do you love him?" question. Sora can suffer a while longer without info as much as Roxas adores him.]

There's even things that intimidate me, you know.

[Like feelings. How was it normal to feel more than one at once? It's so frustrating sometimes to have conflicting feelings happening, like feeling hungry, mad, and happy at the same time.]

[Yeah, that's the unfortunate thing about being a whole person. You tend to feel a lot basically all the time. Riku smirks, amused, as he brushes Roxas's hair back off his forehead again.]

At least you admit it.

[His hand wanders further back until he's holding the back of Roxas's neck, watching him through hooded eyes.]

Keep going.

[Leaning into the touch, there's some conflicting feelings of if he should be happy or embarrassed about that admission. At least Riku wasn't teasing him about it.

With a soft snort of laughter, Roxas nods and leans forward to snag a kiss while Riku was so close. Then it was bad to moving hands against cloth covered thighs as he thinks.]

Hmm... Are my hands fine here or would you rather they be against skin?

[What was the white haired youths limit right now?]

[HMMM...while it would maybe be smarter to put a harder limit on this just so they can easily scramble back upright if anyone approaches them...Riku is a little too preoccupied physically to care as much as he should. Maybe he's banking too hard on the fact they won't be seen, but...

He tugs Roxas just a little closer to him for emphasis.]

You can touch me directly, Roxas.

[Aaaah... Good. Riku now has a very happy boyfriend who all to eagerly moves his hands till they can shimmy into those undergarments. Roxas makes a please noise as fingers move against warm skin.]

Wanna tell me what you want or do I get to pick?

[He's more than fine with moving right down to business.]

[While Roxas makes a sound that's pleased with what he finds, Riku's is considerably more affected. Let's hope that he's not the one who's going to need to be up against a wall soon, here, because just seeing Roxas with his hands in his pants like that is enough of an image to make him weak kneed.]

I thought you already had an idea, you little sneak.

[Riku teases, reaching down to tweak a piece of hair fallen into Roxas's eyes.]

Oh, I was already planning on doing whatever I wanted. I want to get down to it. It's been how long since we've gotten any chance to do this kind of stuff?

[Too long. So really, the choice to make a choice was just a smokescreen. Roxas wants to touch and make Riku feel weak. So time to aim for that by snaking a hand around Riku's shaft and just giving a squeeze.]

Can you keep your noise level down?

[From where they are, he can't really tell just how close or far anyone is. Not that he was too focused on that. He's waiting for a reply before continuing.]

Ah-

[Well, he can't if you're just going to grab his dick like that-

Is what he's thinking, but he quickly bites everything back to muffle himself into silence while managing to avoid having to cover his mouth. His brows furrow, and for a moment he doesn't say anything...mostly because he wants to be able to speak without sounding as affected as he feels.]

I'll...be fine.

[Will he though??]

[Snorting through his nose to keep some of the laughter down, Roxas is very amused at that reaction.]

You say that now.

[Is this still being treated as a challenge? Yes.]

If you're really desperate to keep quiet, you'll figure something out. You're getting no help from me.

[Roxas please]

So it's revenge you want me to- hnnh- get later...I see how it is...

[He exhales heavily, looking up at the ceiling briefly as he tries- key word "try"- to keep his ears perked for voices.]

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