oddsandends | 90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

Fail Sex♦The Meme

While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.

mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability.

outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[You got him there, Roxas!! Because yeah, sometimes that's what people do when they feel too good to think of anything else to say. Or when they're just...angry, that happens too.]

I didn't...mean to sa-ay it-

[Riku's shoulders jump a little at the feeling of Roxas's tongue against his skin now, his body instinctively rocking forward into his touch the more of that contact he gets. He...vastly underestimated Roxas. Vastly.

And because of that, he's probably not going to be able to last much longer than Roxas did, and that's an embarrassing thought. Especially when he keeps asking him questions that Riku feels obligated to answer, forcing him to talk through aborted sentences and half-formed words that end in a moan or a startled keen in the back of his throat.]

It just...just slipped out, okay...

[Roxas is working his mouth right up toward Riku's ear, kissing a line up his neck.]

...can I say it if you make me feel good again?

[He's asking this with honest curiosity, but keeping his voice at just above a whisper, knowing how it felt for Riku to be murmuring in his own ear just before he got off.

[He's also asking this while starting to stroke him with the hand that had been keeping him steady, the other still working small circles around the head and tracing lines to find sensitive spots. What he seems to have forgotten is that Roxas is ambidextrous.]

Edited 2021-05-17 05:14 (UTC)

I-

[Answeing "yes" to that question would be irresponsible and get him in a lot of trouble with several people. Yet, somehow, he has the sneaking suspicion that even if he said no, Roxas would pick it up anyway. He's heard it now, he knows what it is, it's too late to take it back.

But with the way Roxas has figured out how to weaponize everything he says, along with every kiss and touch, it's hard for Riku to think of any response at all right now. He finds himself pressing closer into Roxas, both just to be nearer to him as well as closer to those god damn hands of his, holy shit.]

Don't...say it around anyone else...

[Is what he finally concedes with a second before Roxas decides to treat him to both hands at once, a gesture that- quite literally- drags the next moan out of Riku. His cock practically leaps against his fingers, desperate for way more yet content with what it's being given. He hiccups on another curse as he feels that familiar tension building in the pit of his stomach, white hot and rapidly cresting by the second.

He's got a little bit more time in him, but barely. Roxas may be better at this than he realizes.]

[Roxas is grinning into his neck at the state he's got Riku in, and an answer like that just encourages him.]

That's just for you, huh.

[He's not really thinking about how long this is taking, but he feels that twitch in his hands and he pulls back enough to look down at what he's doing between them. There's so much wonder in his eyes as he's watching this happen, fingertips flitting over the tip of Riku's cock. All the while he continues stroking him, putting pressure on the places that are getting the most reaction.]

...this is just for us.

[He's glad that Roxas is taking that idea to heart- truly, he is- but hearing it right now is so much. He's not sure what's getting to him more: the fact Roxas is stroking him off with such genuine wonder, or that he's clinging to the idea of this being a special thing that just they'll get to see out of each other. It leaves Riku at a loss for words, his mouth working but only muted sounds of pleasure escaping as he gives up attempting to stifle them. He told Roxas before he wanted to hear him, so why not let him get the same experience in return?

Speaking of the same experience...

Riku's breathing quickens after a moment, his hand reaching back up into Roxas's hair so he can grip him there hard. His back arches slightly, the rest of him tensing all at once and following suit, giving Roxas a front-row seat to someone else experiencing a climax. Riku spills over Roxas's fingers with a two short, choked exhalations that rise a little in octave before he succumbs to the pleasure, groaning under his breath as he rides it out with his hips twitching errantly against Roxas's eager hands. It's the best orgasm he's had in a long time he's realizing, which is saying something.

He 100% came while saying his name too, so that'sanother part for Roxas to enjoy until Riku is finally spent, slumping back against the pillows with his head lolled forward against Roxas's shoulder, his breathing hot against his neck as he tries to remember how to breathe normally again.]

[Three things happen in rapid succession here.

[First, Riku grabs a fist full of Roxas's hair, and he is introduced to that feeling for the first time. He's never going to forget that, or the lightning down his spine and right into his dick that it causes.

[Second, he hears Riku say his name like that. He's gonna lose his fucking mind if he can't hear that again soon.

[And finally, he sees Riku coming. The mess spills over his hand and onto Riku's stomach, and he can't say he's not...absurdly fascinated by this. He felt it, sure, but causing it in someone else? That's different.]

... Whoa. [Eloquent.

[Riku, you have about six seconds before Roxas's curiosity gets the best of him and he licks his hand without even considering the consequences.]

[Welcome to having sex, Roxas. It only goes up from here because you've only been treated to mutual masturbation so far. Just you wait until you realize there's so much more to discover.

Which will be taught enthusiastically when Riku isn't, like...dead. Because he's going to need a few minutes to recover here, sitting like a puppet with cut strings as Roxas marvels at what he just wraught. It's a surprise to Riku too, honestly, but he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit just how much he cares about Roxas. Dare he say, loves him. It makes sense that this knocked him flat on his ass.

He manages to catch the slight movement out of the corner of his eye, but it's too late to really stop Roxas before he's licking Riku's semen off his fingers.]

Y-you won't...want to do that...

[It's going to be really gross he can assure you, but it's not like he hadn't wanted to do the same thing himself before. He refrained mostly because he assumed Roxas would be put off by it, but he sure was wrong about that, wasn't he. Oh well. He might as well get used to the taste now, considering the fact Riku has every intention to introduce him to what a blowjob is one of these days.]

[Riku really is too late. His tongue is already dragging through it, and he makes a little bit of a face. It's not the worst taste, even if it's not delicious. In Roxas's opinion, it just...is.

[But Riku also told him he won't wanna do it, so Roxas has to give him the stubborn, don't-tell-me-what-to-do look he gets when he's being challenging. And he's cleaning his hand off. Fuck you.]

It's not bad or anything. Right?

[Riku can't help it. Watching Roxas lick his hand clean makes Riku's heartrate spike. It makes him wonder how he tastes, feeling the smallest twinge of self-counsciousness at the thought it could be really bad. Roxas doesn't look bothered, though. If anything, he's more bothered at being told he shouldn't.

Riku looks down at himself, his cock still vaugely twitching as it lays there against his thigh until he thinks to reach down and put it away.]

It's not, I just...didn't want to gross you out.

[Isn't sex in general gross if you want to put it that way, though? There's a lot worse you could do, that's for sure.]

[Roxas is at least merciful enough to lean over and take the tissues to clean Riku up the rest of the way instead of making his point further.]

It's fine. I wanted to know what it was like.

[And once Riku is cleaned up, the sullied tissues joining the rest on the floor, Roxas is going to pause. He's looking at Riku with that processing gaze as the logic of their situation works its way through him.

[If they're allowed to touch another because they're boyfriends...does that mean that Roxas gets to touch him in ways that maybe aren't so heated?

[Riku's going to get to see him come to the conclusion that...he can try. Roxas knows Riku just called what he did gross in a way, so when he leans up to kiss him, it's only on the cheek. But most importantly, he's going to be adjusting in his lap, settling sideways between his legs and wrapping his arms around Riku's middle so he can rest his cheek against his chest.]

[Nonsexual intimacy is a thing, and a very important one at that. It's only going to occur to Riku in this moment that it's not something they've indulged in overmuch, mostly because Riku just...hadn't gone that far yet. He'd gotten to the point of kissing Roxas, sometimes holding his hand, but today has been the most they've ever done. Roxas actually knows what it all means, too, and that's going to make a big difference going forward.

So when Roxas stares at him for so long like he's a puzzle he's trying to piece together, Riku starts to open his mouth to ask what the matter is, only to be cut off when Roxas repositions himself to lay against him. He blinks a time or two, slowly, one of his hands hovering in the air just above Roxas's shoulders before he slowly lays it against his back, his other hand coming up to lazily rest against the back of his head.

He lets his head drop forward a little, pressing a kiss to the crown of the blonde's hair.]

You pick up on stuff fast.

...so this is normal? [Roxas is asking that quietly, eyes closing as he settles his weight against Riku almost entirely.

[Normal or not, Roxas thought it would be comfortable. Turns out having a boyfriend with big arms means it's extra warm when he holds you. Roxas is happy with that.]

What else is normal for boyfriends?

Yeah, it's normal.

[Cuddling after sex is probably the most normal thing you could do. It makes it infinitely more enjoyable than just parting ways after the fact, that's for sure. Plus, he just...likes the feeling of Roxas laying against him like this, wrapped up in his arms like that's where he's always belonged.]

I wouldn't say there are any rules, exactly...everyone's relationship is going to be different. [There are just usually a lot more agreed upon things you don't do in one.] But if I had to name a couple...you hang out, go on dates and stuff.

[He pauses, realizing he should probably explain what that means.]

A date is basically just the same as spending time with somebody, but it's just the two of you going out and doing stuff together.

[Roxas looks up at him without lifting his head off Riku's chest.]

So...a date is going out, and hanging out is staying in?

[...close, at least? Roxas is going to have one hell of a time figuring out euphemisms later.]

[...cute...

Riku huffs a soft laugh, ruffling Roxas's hair.]

Not quite. A date can be pretty much anything you want to do. It's honestly really no different from hanging out with your friends...you're just doing it with your partner instead.

[He leans the side of his head against one of the back couch cushions, looking down at Roxas as he explains.]

I guess one thing friends don't always do is sleep together. Not always, but...that's how it tends to be most of the time.

[It's different when you're kids, and for some people well into adolescense. He's not about to tell Roxas he can't have a nap with somebody he's friends with, it's just a matter of personal preference really.]

[Roxas turns his head a little, idly laying a kiss against Riku's skin as he's speaking. But the sleeping idea...that has his interest.]

...like, in the same bed? [He's perked up a little when he asks.] People do that when they're together like that?

[The idle kissing is nice, especially when- before all of this- Riku was the one to initiate pretty much everything between them. Roxas is starting to get more comfortable with it naturally, it seems. ]

Yeah. Especially after doing stuff like this...it's nice.

[Riku can't say it's something he's gotten to experience often. When they were much younger, he and Sora used to have sleepovers...but he hasn't done anything like that in what feels like decades at this point.]

[Roxas is pressing his nose into Riku's chest, taking a deep breath and just relaxing more.]

...I'd like that. Sleeping next to you. [A pause.] Or on top of you.

[God, Roxas, could you BE any cuter if you tried...]

I mean...there's nothing stopping us from taking a nap right here, if you wanted. Sure feel like taking one right now...

[Roxas is going to tilt his head enough to make eye contact with Riku.]

...lay down. [He is in love with that idea. Riku, you are spoiling this boy. He's going to be addicted to using you as a bed.]

[What can he say? He enjoys spoiling him, even if he hasn't realized yet what Roxas's insatiable urge for more is going to eventually be like. For now, it's innocent and harmless and he has absolutely zero issues with scooting down enough so that he's laying flat on his back, freeing up space for Roxas to lay across him.]

Better?

[Roxas is quick to get settled on top of Riku, legs tangling with his a little as he rests his head against Riku's chest once more. He takes a nice, deep breath, and sighs it out, content with the warmth and contact.]

Yeah. Way better. I'd sleep like this every night.

[Roxas is the gangly sort, but also plenty short enough in comparison to Riku that the position isn't uncomfortable. Far from it, in fact. It's like the two were made to lay together like this with Roxas perfectly able to fit against him. With his expression softening where Roxas can't see, Riku puts his arms around him a bit more securely.]

Maybe that can be arranged.

[Well, at least sometimes anyway. With Riku busy with his keyblade Master duties, sometimes he's not always going to be right where Roxas is. Frustratingly. It's why he's been taking advantage of the time they can be together, and will be doing so even more now that they're officially a thing.]

Go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a little while.

[Whenever he eventually wakes himself, of course.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

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