90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[unkinder]

[Now Neku's catching on. Nagi has been...basically unable to indulge in anything sexual for most of his young life, which has been difficult for a species that's rapidly going extinct on this planet, among other things. He's not just indulging Neku, here. This is for Nagi, too.

He shivers, and this time Neku will feel it outside of his mind as his paws knead gently against wherever they're wrapped around Neku while he laps at him with his tongue. It isn't long until he has to sort of flop on his side a little, unable to properly sit up the same. There's so much of him though that Neku won't even be on the ground, still resting against his belly while Nagi curls around him from the side.]

< Mmmhh. Neku... >

[scratchitti]

[He makes a slightly startled noise at the change in position, but it's just... so comfortable. Like a giant plush blanket. That can get you off. Maybe that wasn't the best comparison. Either way, he sighs happily]

< ... if you want to get off too I don't mind >

[unkinder]

[Oh. That admission makes Nagi's ears perk, and it's enough to cause him to pause for a moment and turn to look down at his human charge.]

< ...that doesn't bother you? >

[scratchitti]

< It's not fair for me to and you not to, yeah? It's fine. >

[He's blushing, but trying to play it cool]

[unkinder]

[Well in that case...Nagi is just going to pull Neku a little bit closer to him, purring as he briefly bumps his head against Neku's chin.

After that, he sort of...stretches out even longer, like a cat who is very comfortable in showing their belly off to someone they trust. It makes the fact that Nagi is aroused too that much more prominent, moreso in the fact that Neku will be able to see the tip of his cock poking into view past his long fur.]

< I'll help you...if you help me. >

[scratchitti]

[He can't help a stuttering little breath as Nagi's body moves under him, showing off the wet tip. Shit, actually seeing it just makes all of this more real. But he's no coward (anymore) so he gives a small nod of agreement before practically crawling down Nagi's torso.

Neku pauses, debating his approach... before spitting in his hand and reaching out, burying his fingers in the fur and searching out more of Nagi's length]

[unkinder]

[There's a sort of...purring chuckle, almost, that escapes Nagi as he feels his little human crawl his way down his belly, moving to settle in a more comfortable position against him. It's a little awkward, meaning that they're not quite facing each other, but that's fine. He can enjoy the view from up here just plenty.

A soft rrr follows that purring when Neku's hand strikes home, finding Nagi's length to be 1) soft beyond the general hardness of an erection and 2) ....barbed.

It's definitely barbed.

Also don't look now, Neku, but Nagi is going to reach out with his paws and grab your torso, tugging on his legs until he's able to reach him more easily from behind. He'll also try to grab at his pants a bit with his claws, to see if he can tug them down without ripping them. And if he does, well...oops.]

[scratchitti]

[He's so distracted by the barbs (and how could he NOT be? He presses his thumb against one to see how hard it is or if it has any give) that he only vaguely wiggles to try and assist in the removal of his pants... which likely gets in the way more than anything.

So they definitely tear]

H-hey!

[unkinder]

[...ah.

Nagi's ears fall back, and without thinking he pulls his head in, the whole of his neck sinking into one, furry mass to avoid getting kicked in the face. He wasn't expecting that sort of reaction, probably because he doesn't seem to see an issue with having ripped his pants. Humans are weird for needing these sorts of coverings anyway for reasons other than warmth and protection, he supposes. You could do far better if protection is what you're after.]

< ...sorry. >

[But still he hadn't actually meant to do that, so oops.

Also, for the purposes of satisfying Nagi's curiosity, the barbs are flexible. They're a little firm, but soft enough that they don't really feel sharp, if that makes sense.]

[scratchitti]

< Sorry, sorry- let me- >

[He reaches down to wiggle his pants the rest of the way off, yanking his shirt off too- leaving, hilariously, just his socks. That done he goes back to examining Nagi's dick]

< Man... no wonder you were so curious. It's completely different... >

[unkinder]

[Okay, that's much better. Nagi huffs as he watches Neku toss basically all of his clothes aside, leaving him in a much easier to deal with state. Even with the socks, which he currently ignores in favor of putting his paws against Neku's lower back.]

< Well...I am not of this earth. I would hope mine isn't exactly like yours. >

[scratchitti]

< I guess, but it's still a lot to take in. >

[He pauses, taking in the double meaning of his own words, then turns red all over again. Well, THAT'S not happening- the size alone- nope, nope not thinking of that. Instead, he starts lazily stroking the tapered head. Huh, the spines kinda feel like the tines of a rubber hairbrush or something- firm but safe. Or well, safe enough]

[unkinder]

[Sure Neku, you say that now...just wait until you see the rest of it. You're only handling the tip, currently...it's going to need a bit of coaxing for the rest to come out.

For the time being though, Nagi purrs at the feeling of Neku curiously stroking him, causing his back legs to stretch out briefly before pulling back in, toes kneading lightly at the air. It isn't long though before he's turning his attention to his little partner, ducking his head down so he can lick a long stripe over the small of Neku's now very bare back.

Uh oh.]

[scratchitti]

[The lick makes his back bow and his breath stutter, distracting him from Nagi's cock for a second]

< At this rate you're gonna lick everywhere- my back isn't anything special you know >

[He looks back to his own task, though seeing him needing makes him smile]

< Heh, cute >

[unkinder]

[Your back might not be anything special...but that's not exactly whee he was intending to aim, either.

He nudges Neku around a bit, licking him a time or two until he manages to push him forward just far enough to actually be able to view him properly. He's not wearing pants anymore- and presumably his underwear got pulled off too- so that makes it all too easy for him to lick down into the cleft of his ass, finding his way to the end of where his balls and the base of his cock are hiding.]

[scratchitti]

[ Oh, so that was his plan. Neku gasps and clings to Nagi's fur with his free hand, fighting not to squirm away. That... well, he never really considered if he was sensitive there, and when he reaches his balls he moans outright]

< D-damn it- if you want me to do anything for YOU you gotta stop distracting me... >

[Though it's clear he's enjoying it]

[unkinder]

< Mmmm? >

[Nagi pauses in his licking for a brief moment, ears perking at the way the human suddenly moans. That was definitely a good reaction...]

< Fine...I'll give you time to catch up. >

[Or rather, help HIM catch up. Get to stroking, Neku.]

[scratchitti]

[he ALMOST whines for him to get back to it, even though HE was the one that told him to wait. Still, he needed to even things out- his pride demanded it.

But how to go about it? After a moment of thought (and gathering his nerve) he decides to try using his own tongue, pressing it curiously against the side of Nagi's exposed flesh. Unlike the cat-like Nagi, his own was soft and not nearly as mobile. But it would get the job done. He even lightly brushes against the spines, testing to make sure they won't scratch his mouth too much before going further]

[unkinder]

< Ooohh... >

[Nagi's mental groan dissolves into a physical one that stutters from his chest as he kneads with his front paws now, still resting them on Neku's back...so he's getting a little impromptu massage, there. Mind the claws though, those do come out on occasion when he's making biscuits.

Meanwhile, Neku's tongue is very much appreciated given the way Nagi's body reacts, his member stirring in reply. Almost immediately it starts to ease into view bit by bit, giving Neku more and more to tongue as time passes. The barbs are soft enough that they tickle more than hurt, and he'll find that they cover both the head and underside of the shaft that...

Uh. It's still coming out.

The tip has turned into the length of his whole hand and it's still going.]

[scratchitti]

[He expected it to be big- the size difference between them almost required it. But not like THIS, and holy shit it's still going...

Well, just meant he had to put in more effort, wrapping his hands around the girthier base (or well, what is the base for now, that keeps changing as more is exposed) and working them up and down, squeezing slightly. He makes sure to push a little harder with the meaty part of his palms against the spines, purposely aiming to stimulate them]

[unkinder]

[It's good. Nagi hasn't really felt the sensation of hands like this before, so he can't help but vocalize softly even if he didn't want to. He huffs, resting his head against Neku's hip while his paws continue to lightly knead at his skin, pushing Neku down a bit further into the fluffy mass of his belly-fur.

It takes a little more working, but eventually his erection comes to a stop once he's at full-mast. From tip to base, he's the length of Neku's forearm. It's...a lot to contend with, but fortunately what there is is fairly soft...rigid enough to be about what you'd expect, and still lighly covered with those same barbs all over.

He's panting by the time Neku has gotten that far, his tail flicking from side to side on the ground.]

< Neku... >

[scratchitti]

[ Nagi pressing on his back encourages Neku to rut against his soft belly, unable to resist the stimulation. Once the full length is exposed he stops, panting.]

< That's... a lot >

[unkinder]

< ...too much? >

[He's seen your cock. He knows humans are...so very small.]

[scratchitti]

< I mean, it's not going IN anywhere any time soon. But... I can manage something. >

[He looks back and arches a brow as if challenging Nagi to doubt him]

[unkinder]

[Manage "something", he says. Now that just leaves Nagi to wonder...]

< Well, it's all yours to manage. >