oddsandends | 103rd ♫ | i need somebody to love me, to make me feel warm and fuzzy

[ young adult from a post apocalypse techno hell disguised as a fantasy setting. From a society that has a very strict caste system based on assigned "purpose" or "duty" from the "gods" that literally changes their bodies to suit said jobs. These assigned roles and the connection with the gods are called "Names", and our titular hero is someone who destroyed their Name and is on a rampage of revenge.

Definately the one needing touch, between their cold upbringing and purposely cutting themselves off from said society. Details about appearance and name(s) for use in more mundane aus/settings in journal.

Potential cws: non consentual body modification, body horror, past self harm, slavery, abuse from authority and romantic partners, religious trauma]

Edited 2023-05-24 10:54 (UTC)

[ Sakura's particular skillset isn't always called for in a Worldline dive – as strong as her magic is, it's also bright and flashy and sometimes when a Worldline is particularly dark and dangerous, she isn't a good match for it. So she and a few of the others had stayed behind while the person she now calls Ao-kun had gone along with the others. And of course, Sakura knows they can look after themselves but it doesn't stop her worrying up a storm the entire time.

She's first in line to greet them when they come back, charging down the sterile corridors as fast as her feet will carry her to get to the room that takes them to and from whatever Worldline they've focused on next. But when Sakura reaches the doorway, she comes clattering to a halt and the warm smile she'd been wearing in greeting slides off her face.

They're... ]

A... Ao-kun... what...?

[ They're a mess. Sakura's never seen them so beaten up. ]

Wh–what happened?!

Sakura...

[in their relief her name slips out, full and un altered. Her smile might have dropped but theirs is bright, if tired as they move to greet her-

- only to be stopped by someone grabbing their scruff]

I think not, Mxter.

[ Dr. Whitlock is arriving right behind them, leaning heavily on his cane. Though in his case it seems more out of exhaustion than injury]

Sakura, thank the Raven Queen. Can you please tell them to sit still so they don't aggravate their healing further?

... I'm fine now, don't worry.

Being mauled is not fine.

[ they sure do look like they were mauled, though only a few small gashes remain open there's many pink healed marks alongside the nasty bruises. And on the edges of those gashes wiggles the black "fluid" of their healing ability]

Mauled?!

[ Sakura's voice full on cracks into a slightly pathetic sounding squeak. All at once she's filled with immense frustration that she hadn't been there to do something to help and immense relief that she hadn't been there to panic and make things worse.

Speaking of panicking – that's what she's doing now! ]

You– I have to– [ She fumbles like that for a few seconds before spinning on her heel and calling over her shoulder: ] Sit down! I'll be right back!

[ And off she goes to run back to her room at top speed and grab her mahou compact. The one time she leaves it behind!!! ]

[and by the time she returns they are in fact sitting. So is Whitlock, though he's watching them like a hawk]

Oh... you don't have to-

[they've seen her transform enough times now to know what to except here]

Yes, she does. My spells are empty and it will be better for you than your... ability.

[Whitlock's nose wrinkles at the mention of their "Blessing", looking snooty to the inexperienced in his ways, but clearly more like "disturbed" and "concerned" to the familiar.]

... Mm. I want to help.

[ There's maybe just a bit too much emphasis on that want – even if they don't think it's necessary, seeing them in such a state has Sakura's heart in a tight vice grip. They're usually so strong, so knowing that they'd been hurt so badly is...

She doesn't let herself go any further down that line of thought and instead turns her focus to the compact in her hand. It only takes a second for her to be enveloped in warp pink light and when it dissipates, it's Spring Star standing there instead of Sakura.

With magic at her fingertips now, she comes hurrying over and stoops beside them, eyes roving over all their injuries. ]

What needs the most help?

Ah...

[well, they're not going to fight it if it's what she WANTS to do- that distinction is too important to them.]

The doctor focused on my arm, so... my torso, I think.

[whitlock nods in agreement- he can't tell if there internal damage without a deeper examination and those are the injuries he least wants the Blessing to tend to]

[ Sakura nods, and flexes her gloves fingers... then hesitates. ]

. . . Um. Is that... okay?

[ If she wants to heal them then she has to....... touch.............. them................. ]

...?

[oh, she's blushing... it hits them why quickly.]

... yeah.

[whitlock rolls his eyes. Must you two be such teenagers? He stands, heading towards the door.]

I'll leave this in your capable hands then. And I expect to see them after a long rest.

[how long is that supposed to be??? He doesnt explain, heading out in a huff]

... should I take my shirt off?

[ And even though giving them a little privacy for this is probably for the best, Sakura looks more than a little panicked as he heads off. ]

Ah– um, I'll do my... best...

[ Oh she can't decide if Whitlock leaving makes it worse or not!!! Hell world!!!

She swallows hard, trying not to let this get Weird and turns her attention back to the matter at hand. It takes a big, deep breath before she can make her voice a little steadier but if she's said she'll help, she's going to commit. ]

It might be easier, b–but... you don't have to if you're not comfortable with it.

[they look away a bit, hand moving up to rub behind their ear, the scarring mostly hidden by their scarf just barely visible there.]

I'm more worried about you. It's... not pretty to look at.

[ Immediately, with no hesitation: ] That's fine.

[ She's clasping one hand in the other, both pressed to her chest. She's usually bad at holding eye contact with them – or anyone, really – but at that, Sakura readily meets their gaze. ]

If you're hurt, helping you is what matters.

... right.

[they manage a shakey smile at that, before starting to slowly unwind the scarf, hands trembling a bit.

The scaring is as gnarled as the small exposed bit had suggested. From ear to collar it is a mess of puckered skin- not an attempt at a slit throat gone wrong, though it's amazing that they didn't bleed out from it regardless. Instead it reads more as many attempted slashes down the column of the throat, messy and badly aimed by much younger and less steady hands. Some of the scarring is shiny as well, like the area was burned on top of cut.

Whatever has there wasn't just cut out, but obliterated with vicious intent. Nothing could be allowed to remain.

They pause for a moment, visibly re-gathering their composure before starting to remove their buckles and clasps for the shirt.]

Edited 2023-05-24 14:51 (UTC)

[ Sakura tells herself that she won't stare and immediately fails not to do so. A breath catches hard in her throat and it takes too long for it to slip its way out of her mouth in a long, shaky exhalation.

Come on, she chides herself. Don't make this worse for them. They obviously hadn't wanted her to see this at all – maybe it's why they were so resistant to this kind of help in the first place – but even as she tells herself over and over to just move on and not make a thing of it, her idiot mouth blurts out – ]

Do they hurt?

[ Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. ]

I–if it does I can... I can try to help...

[They startle slightly in surprise... then smile softly. Her concern is always a lot to take in, but not unwanted]

Not anymore. I don't really have much feeling there at all- I destroyed the nerves, I'm pretty sure.

[The clasps done, they have much less resistance to pulling off their shirt. There are scars here too, but more obviously battle ones. Their body has the build of a worker more than a chiseled warrior- muscled but with a little fat too, around the chest and belly. Marks of growth and wear and humanity. Sunfreckles and acne scars and patches of roughness and hair where one would expect. Still, the muscle is there, especially up their arms.

Their torso looks even worse than their face though. Covered in dark angry bruises and those still healing gashes. Odds are if their ribs aren't broken now they were before Whitlock got to them]

[ I destroyed the nerves.

Sakura's expression wavers just a little with an emotion that's hard to read. She can't decide if it's better or worse to think that this is a self inflicted wound – the idea that someone else would have hurt them is awful, of course, but the idea of them having to hurt themself to this degree...

She forces herself to drag her gaze down to their stomach, where the most immediate problem is. She'd thought they look battered before but looking at the state their torso is in makes her feel a little sick. Thank goodness Whitlock and the others were there – she doesn't want to imagine what could have happened if they hadn't been. ]

Mm. Okay. [ She pulls in a breath. ] Where does it hurt the most? I'll start there.

[The staring starts to make them squirm, starting to second guess this. They only hid it before because it was such a defining feature of the Namebreaker- anyone that knew about them would Know.

But here, with people they actually care about... they know it's ugly. It doesn't even occur that she might be worried about them. About why they did it. Still, there's no time to work themselves into a spiral as she looks downward.]

My ribs, I think. If anything's damaged it would be there.

Right.

[ Another slightly shaky breath but this time she sounds a little more steady and more centered. Sakura's always at her best when she has something she can do to help.

She glances up to meet their gaze and does her best to give a reassuring smile. ]

I'll count to three, okay? So you can get ready. And on three, that's when I'll start.

[ Once final slow inhale, but this time it's slow and smooth as she gathers magic into her fingers. ]

One, two...

[ With that, Sakura presses her palm into their side. There's a sting of pressure on the wounds but only for a second. Almost immediately, a feeling like warm, spring sunshine begins to spread out from the point of contact, like a sunbeam had cut through and fallen across their skin. ]

[at the sting they suck in a breath between their teeth, eyes narrowed but not closed.

But it's... shockingly short, and that feeling bleeds over their skin. The Blessing wiggles then retreats back under their skin as it's no longer needed, the alien shifting under the surface fading away soon after.

It's... warm. Like the sun back home. Not hot. Not baking and hurting and bright. Just... warm.

They shiver almost violently... and then sigh, like something was escaping on their breath and leaving relief behind. Their skin twitches like a nervous horse under her hand, but they don't pull away. Eyes go from narrow to half lidded.

... relaxed. It's so strange.]

[ At their flinch, Sakura almost pulls her hand back but she forces herself to keep at it. They give her the impression of a skittish but curious cat sometimes – tentatively interested in allowing itself to be petted but ready to bolt at the slightest indication that something might be wrong. All she can do is try and stay calm and patient enough not to scare them away. ]

Is it feeling a little better already? I'm glad.

[ ... totally misreading the relaxation there, but for good reason – even as she watches, the nasty bruising on their skin is starting to pull back and fade. ]

I'll heal the other side too, just to be sure... and after that, is there anywhere else that hurts?

Mhm... your hands are warm.

[the last person to touch them so softly was-

- they wince again, biting their lip as they press that thought down]

Here?

[they touch their face, turning slightly red. True, it's pretty battered, but nothing dangerous. At worst their nose may be a bit more crooked then it already was. But...]

[ . . . That's exactly what her magic is supposed to do, but hearing it from them right now in this kind of situation is a little...

Sakura forces that thought down and instead gives a Determined Nod. ]

R–right! Ah, well, now I can move onto this side... [ Accordingly, she shifts over to their other side and gives them the same countdown warning before pressing her hand to the remaining bruises. Sunshine and spring blooms out over their skin.

Sakura's quiet for just long enough that it seems like she won't say anything more... but then she speaks up. ]

... um... Ao-kun... if it's okay, could I ask what happened to you? I–I know he said you'd been... mauled, but...

[ Just what had happened on that mission she hadn't been invited along to? ]

Ah. Hm. Well... there was a beast of some sort that was going to blow our cover. It wasn't an issue at first but while we were sneaking past it attacked... the Namebreaker got jammed between it's ribs, so I was unarmed.

[and while they are fast and strong, they don't really have any "magical" attacks or ways to defend themselves if disarmed. And being a front liner... they were the first target]

Mm. No wonder you got hurt.

[ She's trying very hard not to imagine what sort of horrible creature could take a blow like that from the Namebreaker and give as good as they got in return before going down. Thinking about it like that, it's a miracle they were only mauled. ]

Maybe it isn't quite right to say when you did end up getting hurt, but... I am glad you're okay, Ao-kun.

[oh. they're blushing again]

Me too.

...

Though the Doctor is pretty mad. He didn't want me to go back for the 'Breaker.

[YEAH NO SHIT AO]

-- | oc | ota

lightly scrungles breaker for hurt/comfort purposes

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Cw: past self harm

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self harm allusions cw

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