84th ♫ | coloured vibrant enough to light up the world

[mytarget]

texting meme y'all know what to do (or not!! this can just be a gen texting meme too!!!)

Comments

[gorira]

the punchline was going to be that i was the cause actually but its nice to know we're on the same page

[zweihandler]

ok but CLEARLY this means the rumble outside 7-11 was so fucking big we didnt spot each other and both figured we started it ourselves. which is honestly possible for either of us cos we're like that

[gorira]

i hate that youre right about that
between the yakuza up my ass and you naturally being the biggest shit stirrer this side of the pacific
its a shock that we dont get into mass fisticuffs every time we go out for late night slurpees

[zweihandler]

you think the sword is puttin them off?

[gorira]

i mean if i didn't know you better i wouldnt wanna mess with you if i could help it
but since i do its a different story

[zweihandler]

oh yeah for sure to anyone else it's like "damn watch out for that crazy bitch with a sword" but you already know my true form as a dipshit jock. takes all the mystique away.

[gorira]

is mystique what we're calling it now
not that i dont get it too
"better not fuck with the mafia girl youll wake up at the bottom of the lake with cinderblocks tied to your feet if you look at her funny"

as though we actually do that in this day and age

[zweihandler]

was that ever actually a thing? or is it some weird mafia urban legend that folks tell to scare little kids at night

[gorira]

its definitely more like
the kind of thing that makes a good scene in a gangster movie
but not really the way anyone actually does things

a lot of that shit is overblown as im sure you can imagine
itd be funny if it wasnt a little scary

[zweihandler]

honestly it always just sounded inconvenient as fuck to me
like if you want some clown dead just shoot his ass
calls for way less prep

[gorira]

of course you of all ppl would say something like that
listen the point isnt to get the job done quickly
youre trying to make a statement right?
mess around with the bee hive and you get stung

like i said though its nowhere near that flashy in real life
usually people pay back their debts without too much fuss
and we're pretty generous when people need more time
times are tough lately

no one really wants to make a mess of things so its pretty rare for some dipshit to take the money and run

[zweihandler]

honestly i feel like gangster movies and shit are doing yall a favor. you basically get a whole bunch of free and also extremely gruesome PR and everyone figures after that it's probably not worth it to fuck around and find out.

[gorira]

its doing my dad a favor
for me growing up it did none
the other kids would be too scared to even like get on my good side let alone try to be friends

[zweihandler]

thank god i'm too rowdy and dumb and gay to know any better and i decided to be friends w you anyway

[gorira]

[ Now, we don't have time to unpack all of that, but-- ]

so what youre saying is if you were straight you would run for the hills??

[zweihandler]

depends
in this hypothetical dark timeline am i any smarter or am i still a dumbass?

[gorira]

in the straight timeline?
just off that i think you're dumb as a brick

[zweihandler]

in that case we're definitely still friends. so long as i'm dumb enough to get past the initial barrier of "this chick could slash would kill me or have me killed" then it's all smooth sailing from there

[gorira]

is it really just that you cant look out for yourself for shit
i mean not that i mind like it worked out in the end but
ugh nvm

[zweihandler]

[ okay erina might be an awful goblin woman but even she can pick up on when she may have tripped over the line into Going Too Far ]

course not you dumbass it's cos youre tough and scrappy and you don't take shit from anybody
i saw that and i was like "shit i like the cut of this girls jib"

[gorira]

[ Ah, that was a bit dumb of her, huh? It's not like she couldn't have figured that, but... ]

just that i was tough huh??
cmon dont be shy
keep laying the praise on me
i know you've got a little more in you than that

[zweihandler]

u rly want me to go the whole hog??? just go absolutely buckwild talking up gay shit???
i'll do it. and you won't have anyone but you to blame.

[gorira]

look at you trying to threaten me with a good time
besides i ever-so-generously decided to help you cram for your test right?
least you can do is call me something a little nicer than gay

[zweihandler]

ok well don't say i didn't warn you
damn girl was your brain always this big or did it just get fucking jacked on account of all the work it does being the smartest and also hottest person in the room? almost as jacked as your powerful fists which can probably smash through walls and break concrete which incidentally is very cool and sexy bc there is nothing in life hotter than a girl who can threaten your life with her bare hands
should i keep going

[gorira]

[ Fuck. She did ask for it, so why the hell is she blushing? ]

i bet you say that to all the girls estival

[ Smartest in the room? As if, she just completely played herself-- ]

for the record i can think of a few things that are hotter though
just saying
i mean shit i dont even have a sword