oddsandends | 90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

Fail Sex♦The Meme

While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.

mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability.

outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're cute.

[He elaborates quietly, resting his chin against Roxas's shoulder as he watches the way he reacts to his touch. Every little errant twitch and shift of his body leaves Riku wishing he could do way more than just this, but...that can come with time. Roxas has no idea what's even coming, and that's going to be a particular high that Riku has little doubt he'll be chasing again and again for some time now if he's already asking him when they'll be doing this again.

He kisses the side of his neck again as he works, his other hand smoothing up the front of Roxas's navel. He'll even allow himself a moment of his fingers teasing the blond snarl of hairs there just at the base of him while his other hand keeps up its steady stroking, occasionally pausing long enough to drag his thumb around the head in a slow, purposeful circle.]

I want you to relax, Roxas.

[Riku murmurs against his ear, the buzz undoubtedly maddening as he pulls the blonde a little closer to him. It's near impossible for Riku to stop himself from ever-so-slightly rocking his hips into him from behind, so...he doesn't, just this once.]

Just feel. Don't think.

[The intimacy of the extra touches, the sound of Riku's voice low in his ear, the roll of those hips behind him--this is a veritable symphony of sensation, and Roxas is absolutely intoxicated by the way Riku is playing him. He hardly needs to be pulled in by that siren's call; he's melting under Riku's hand just as much as he's starting to writhe with it, breath quickening.]

Riku...it's--happening again--...! [He moans, back arching as he's absolutely rubbing back against the hips that roll into him. Roxas doesn't know how to feel awkward and self-conscious about this. He's getting lost in the pleasure of it easily.

[And that means that when he comes, it's with a heavy throb in Riku's hand the desperate moan of his name. He's never felt the build up and the blissful release of this before, gasping for air with the waves that rush over him and the mess being made.]

[It would have been unfairly attractive to watch on its own, but Roxas going so far as to moan his name as he climaxes like that is enough to cause Riku to groan in reply, a shaky breath exhaled against his ear. He's fairly sure he's never been harder than he is in this exact moment, and if Roxas had any more experience or understanding of what was happening to him, he'd be a few steps away from just pushing him down on the couch and continuing things from there. Luckily, Riku is very patient, and Roxas's enjoyment of this matters more in this moment.

He holds him close as he shudders his way through the very first orgasm of his life, stroking him through it as he watches ropes of cum streak both Roxas's own midriff and the sides of Riku's fingers. It's going to be a considerable mess as it is his first ever time, but hell if Riku cares about that at all. He just murmurs vauge encouragement as he watches it all unfold, rocking his hips against Roxas a time or two more just to relieve himself of a little of the pressure he's feeling.]

Good...just like that...

[He whispers as Roxas comes down from the high, careful not to touch him for any longer than is necessary. It's a wholly different experience compared to someone who might know what to expect, getting to give it to someone who has literally no idea. Roxas's lack of self-consciousness lends itself to him getting to enjoy everything in the purest sense, something Riku envies. It must feel incredible.]

[Roxas comes hard this first time, his hands caught between reaching up into Riku's hair and gripping at his arm. It takes him several long seconds to start to come down from it. And even when he does, he's out of breath and dazed, fully leaning into his boyfriend behind him.

[And still the first thing he manages to think enough to say is:] You...need to feel that.

[He wants to help him feel it.] Tell me what to do.

[Roxas...of course that's the first thing he thinks of, even when he's sitting there loose and spent and in desperate need of more than a second to recover. Riku laughs again, quieter than the first time as he ruffles the side of Roxas's hair with his clean hand.]

Let me clean you up, first.

[Fortunately, there just so happens to be a table near to where they're sprawled on the couch just close enough for Riku to reach out and pull a handful of tissues from a box perched on the edge. Anything works in a pinch, even with the veritable mess Roxas made of himself. It takes multiple tissues to get it all, though Riku is clearly taking his time with it to give Roxas a second to breathe.]

Glad you enjoyed it, by the way.

It's...a lot. Of course I enjoyed it. I wanna make you feel that, too.

[He's going to realize how glad he is that they're boyfriends when he realizes that this means they're the only ones who get to give this to one another.

[But for now, Roxas makes just slight noises when Riku brushes places that are a little oversensitive, taking mental note of the fact that that happens. And then he's going to lay his head back against Riku's shoulder and crane his neck to kiss lightly at his jaw, because he wants to give that affection now, too.]

[Roxas's enthusiasm is of course infectious, a smile working its way onto his face as Roxas leans his head back so he can kiss him. He'll return it as best he can with the awkward angle, crumpling the tissues and tossing them onto the floor to be collected later. They're the only ones here so it's fine, so long as Riku doesn't forget them...]

That's really only the beginning.

[He explains as he moves to carefully sit up a bit, grimacing at the way the shifting rubs against him thanks to the awful way his jeans are still keeping his erection trapped.]

Y-you can just...do what I did to you, if you want. Just be careful not to grip too hard. I'll guide you from there if you need it.

[Roxas is a smart boy though, curious as they come. He has little doubts he'll catch on very quickly.]

[Roxas is, at least, tucking himself back away when he starts to move and realizes he needs to. But he doesn't zip up, and he does pause to look at Riku as he gets turned around and starts straddling his lap.]

...you should take your shirt off, too. If it's gonna get messed up.

[Look at him, thinking ahead. And this is gonna be the only time it's not with the ulterior motive of getting Riku a little more naked, because he hasn't quite realized how much he's gonna wanna keep seeing that.]

[Smart. Innocent enough too, for now...

Riku nods, taking hold of the bottom edge of his shirt so he can carefully work it up and over his head. It's not often that Riku finds himself shirtless for really any sort of reason, so Roxas should enjoy it while he can. He exhales once he's tossed his shirt somewhere on the ground with everything else they're slowly shedding, leaning back again so Roxas can take him in fully. He looks...uncomfortable, for multiple reasons.]

I'm not wearing jeans again for a while...

[Roxas is seeing all that skin, and just...the idea of doing to Riku what Riku's done to him is enough to get his cheeks heating up. He's gonna lean in to hesitantly kiss the side of Riku's neck, but just once--not because he doesn't intend to continue, but because that comment has his attention, and he's reaching down to undo his pants.]

Jeans make it even worse?

[He's...being gentle and slow, at least, but he knows how much relief it was to get free for himself. He wants to have Riku's dick out so he can see what he's doing and let him breathe a little.]

[That is very nice. It's one thing to treat someone to lots of kisses and a sweet handjob, but to get it in return is just as good. Even better, really, coming from Roxas. The hesitancy is endearing, Riku's expression excessively fond as he watches Roxas move away to undo his pants for him.]

It's...they're really tight, that's all.

[He's not known to wear skinny...anything, but it doesn't really take long for things to chafe when you're this hard.

But he's quiet and patient as Roxas maneuvers him, letting him take things as slow as he needs to even if any amount of time spent waiting is slightly agonizing. Roxas is going to find in short order that Riku's pants were sortof barely containing him there...and embarrassingly, he can already see where the front of his boxers have gotten pretty damp.]

[Roxas pauses a little at the sight of Riku's dick once he's got him out of his pants, and Riku will see the gears turning a little bit behind his eyes as he's running his fingers curiously along the length of him, his touch feather-light.]

...you're so much bigger than me. [Roxas means that in every way; it comes out as a curious observation, nothing jealous about it. It's said as he leans forward and presses his forehead against Riku's shoulder, still watching what he's doing as he feels over the tip where it's dampened from precum. Once he has that slickness, he's applying a little more pressure, exploring with both hands up and down the length of him, following veins and the edge of the head as he maps him out. And once he's comfortable with that, he'll tilt his head and start a line of open-mouthed kisses along his collar and up his neck.]

[WELL...maybe he should have expected that kind of matter-of-fact reaction, because it's not exactly like Roxas is wrong. Riku is in fact bigger...much bigger, even. But having it pointed out still causes Riku to falter, along with a breath he'd taken stuttering out of him at how light Roxas's hands are against him.]

N...not by that much...

[He starts to protest, but just as the words leave his mouth, Roxas is going in for more. He leans in close against him, and for a moment Riku wonders what he's aiming for exactly-]

N- ah-

[Another sound, deeper in his chest than the first, ekes its way from Riku when Roxas mixes the curious touch of his hands along his cock with the press of his lips to his neck. He hadn't expected Roxas to do that much, and because of that he's left momentarily stunned with one of his hands reaching up to cradle the back of Roxas's head, the other pressed against the middle of his back.]

Roxas...

[Roxas is finding that he really enjoys getting that reaction out of Riku. And he knows that he felt teeth before. So while he starts to stroke him, being as gentle as he can while he holds him steady at the base with his other hand, Roxas is getting to the joint of his neck and shoulder and just. Biting there. Not too hard, but enough to mark, trying to mimic with the suction he felt earlier.

[All to hear these noises Riku's making. He gets the appeal, now. If he can find out better ways to do this, he's going to enjoy making Riku crumble under his touch.]

[Roxas is doing good enough just stroking him, honestly. That's all Riku had been expecting; just enough stimulation to get off in the wake of Roxas's orgasm. Figures he'd be curious enough to explore though, which Riku is fine to allow him to do at his own pace. He relaxes against him, trying to settle into the pleasure and let his mind sink into it, only for that to be quickly short lived when he feels the sharp bite of teeth against his skin.

And, well-]

Fuck.

[THAT slipped out, prompting Riku to quickly pull his hand from Roxas's head and slap it over his own mouth. He'd been fine letting Roxas hear the breathy moans and whatever else comes out of him, but...oops.

He lowers his fingers just a little, a hushed murmur passing them as he struggles not to buck his hips against Roxas's hand.]

Don't- don't repeat that-

...why? [Uh oh.

[Riku is getting asked that in a tone that's...dangerous. That "you messed up and I know it and now you have to answer" tone. And he's going to replicate that bite a little further down while he waits for an answer, giving him a firm, slow stroke from base to tip while he does so, testing the pressure.]

It's-

[Hold that thought, quite literally as it's choked silent with the way Riku gasps sharply at getting bitten a second time because hey, he's not even remotely going to complain about some love bites. He's not even thinking right now about the bruises they're both going to be leaving this room with at this point...]

Not...y-you're not supposed to say stuff like that...it's a bad word.

[Roxas keeps up the movement, lathing his tongue over the mark he's left.]

So...why'd you say it?

[Is he continuing to try to make him talk while he's stroking him? Yes, he is.]

Do you say bad words when you feel good? [Roxas's tone is so teasing, but with the content matter? It's sinfully flirtatious. He runs his thumb around the head and over the tip of his cock to get that slickness renewed while he's teasing him.]

[You got him there, Roxas!! Because yeah, sometimes that's what people do when they feel too good to think of anything else to say. Or when they're just...angry, that happens too.]

I didn't...mean to sa-ay it-

[Riku's shoulders jump a little at the feeling of Roxas's tongue against his skin now, his body instinctively rocking forward into his touch the more of that contact he gets. He...vastly underestimated Roxas. Vastly.

And because of that, he's probably not going to be able to last much longer than Roxas did, and that's an embarrassing thought. Especially when he keeps asking him questions that Riku feels obligated to answer, forcing him to talk through aborted sentences and half-formed words that end in a moan or a startled keen in the back of his throat.]

It just...just slipped out, okay...

[Roxas is working his mouth right up toward Riku's ear, kissing a line up his neck.]

...can I say it if you make me feel good again?

[He's asking this with honest curiosity, but keeping his voice at just above a whisper, knowing how it felt for Riku to be murmuring in his own ear just before he got off.

[He's also asking this while starting to stroke him with the hand that had been keeping him steady, the other still working small circles around the head and tracing lines to find sensitive spots. What he seems to have forgotten is that Roxas is ambidextrous.]

Edited 2021-05-17 05:14 (UTC)

I-

[Answeing "yes" to that question would be irresponsible and get him in a lot of trouble with several people. Yet, somehow, he has the sneaking suspicion that even if he said no, Roxas would pick it up anyway. He's heard it now, he knows what it is, it's too late to take it back.

But with the way Roxas has figured out how to weaponize everything he says, along with every kiss and touch, it's hard for Riku to think of any response at all right now. He finds himself pressing closer into Roxas, both just to be nearer to him as well as closer to those god damn hands of his, holy shit.]

Don't...say it around anyone else...

[Is what he finally concedes with a second before Roxas decides to treat him to both hands at once, a gesture that- quite literally- drags the next moan out of Riku. His cock practically leaps against his fingers, desperate for way more yet content with what it's being given. He hiccups on another curse as he feels that familiar tension building in the pit of his stomach, white hot and rapidly cresting by the second.

He's got a little bit more time in him, but barely. Roxas may be better at this than he realizes.]

[Roxas is grinning into his neck at the state he's got Riku in, and an answer like that just encourages him.]

That's just for you, huh.

[He's not really thinking about how long this is taking, but he feels that twitch in his hands and he pulls back enough to look down at what he's doing between them. There's so much wonder in his eyes as he's watching this happen, fingertips flitting over the tip of Riku's cock. All the while he continues stroking him, putting pressure on the places that are getting the most reaction.]

...this is just for us.

[He's glad that Roxas is taking that idea to heart- truly, he is- but hearing it right now is so much. He's not sure what's getting to him more: the fact Roxas is stroking him off with such genuine wonder, or that he's clinging to the idea of this being a special thing that just they'll get to see out of each other. It leaves Riku at a loss for words, his mouth working but only muted sounds of pleasure escaping as he gives up attempting to stifle them. He told Roxas before he wanted to hear him, so why not let him get the same experience in return?

Speaking of the same experience...

Riku's breathing quickens after a moment, his hand reaching back up into Roxas's hair so he can grip him there hard. His back arches slightly, the rest of him tensing all at once and following suit, giving Roxas a front-row seat to someone else experiencing a climax. Riku spills over Roxas's fingers with a two short, choked exhalations that rise a little in octave before he succumbs to the pleasure, groaning under his breath as he rides it out with his hips twitching errantly against Roxas's eager hands. It's the best orgasm he's had in a long time he's realizing, which is saying something.

He 100% came while saying his name too, so that'sanother part for Roxas to enjoy until Riku is finally spent, slumping back against the pillows with his head lolled forward against Roxas's shoulder, his breathing hot against his neck as he tries to remember how to breathe normally again.]

[Three things happen in rapid succession here.

[First, Riku grabs a fist full of Roxas's hair, and he is introduced to that feeling for the first time. He's never going to forget that, or the lightning down his spine and right into his dick that it causes.

[Second, he hears Riku say his name like that. He's gonna lose his fucking mind if he can't hear that again soon.

[And finally, he sees Riku coming. The mess spills over his hand and onto Riku's stomach, and he can't say he's not...absurdly fascinated by this. He felt it, sure, but causing it in someone else? That's different.]

... Whoa. [Eloquent.

[Riku, you have about six seconds before Roxas's curiosity gets the best of him and he licks his hand without even considering the consequences.]

[Welcome to having sex, Roxas. It only goes up from here because you've only been treated to mutual masturbation so far. Just you wait until you realize there's so much more to discover.

Which will be taught enthusiastically when Riku isn't, like...dead. Because he's going to need a few minutes to recover here, sitting like a puppet with cut strings as Roxas marvels at what he just wraught. It's a surprise to Riku too, honestly, but he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit just how much he cares about Roxas. Dare he say, loves him. It makes sense that this knocked him flat on his ass.

He manages to catch the slight movement out of the corner of his eye, but it's too late to really stop Roxas before he's licking Riku's semen off his fingers.]

Y-you won't...want to do that...

[It's going to be really gross he can assure you, but it's not like he hadn't wanted to do the same thing himself before. He refrained mostly because he assumed Roxas would be put off by it, but he sure was wrong about that, wasn't he. Oh well. He might as well get used to the taste now, considering the fact Riku has every intention to introduce him to what a blowjob is one of these days.]

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