90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[unkinder]

[What is he saying indeed...Neku can do all the fretting for them, because Nagi doesn't seen to give even slightly a damn. It's nice that Neku is leaning into him though, causing Nagi to start purring again.]

< You're saying this to someone who grooms their entire body with their tongue on the regular, you know. >

[scratchitti]

< ... gross >

[His 'tone' is teasing though, and now that he's not freaking out he starts returning to a little bit of that post-orgasm relaxation. Though sadly the adrenaline ruined most of it]

[unkinder]

[Something like a laugh leaves Nagi, then. A chitter more than anything as he licks across Neku's cheek.]

< I mean it. Even if it was short...I enjoyed that. >

[scratchitti]

< ... yeah? >

[The implication hits him- the possibility that thanks to the psychic connection Nagi might have legitimately felt his orgasm. Might have in some form got off with him.

The idea makes his cock throb even if it's too soon to get hard again. Goddamn]

< Then, I guess it'd be fine if I did that again some time? >

[unkinder]

[Whether or not that's what happened...it seems like Nagi isn't being forthcoming in telling. He just purrs a little louder, knowingly almost, as his tail wraps around them both.]

< I suppose. But only if you let me join you again. >

[Maybe even let him be more actively involved, next time.]

[scratchitti]

< ... I guess that would be easier than trying to be sneaky about it. >

[ he suddenly realizes he's still hanging out of his pants, but is too boneless and content to put himself away yet]

[unkinder]

[Neku isn't the only one who's noticed that, but Nagi hasn't made a point to say anything about it yet. He just been sort of...watching, curiously.

And as bluntly as he's said and done anything else, he eventually asks, unprompted:]

< Would you be bothered if I cleaned you off? >

[scratchitti]

[Metal Gear Alert Sound Here

He freezes... then before he can talk himself out of it he shoves his shorts the rest of the way off, kicking them away]

< ... okay. Okay, sure. Yeah >

[unkinder]

[If Nagi weren't so good at keeping his emotions under wraps, he would have laughed audibly in his head at the way Neku just completely kicks his pants off like that, as if he'd been waiting for Nagi to suggest that all day. The creature himself certainly hasn't cared much for modesty up until now, so if anything Neku having less clothes now is a positive.

Hopefully it helps that he doesn't have anything smart to say. He just rumbles in affirmation, curving his head around the side of Neku this time so he can reach him better. It also gives Neku room to put his hand on Nagi's head or neck if he wants as he starts to pass his rough tongue over his stomach first, immediately going for whatever got left there that Neku didn't manage to frantically clean before.]

[scratchitti]

[It's smeared and not easily visible, but certainly still sticky. Neku's stomach twitches and flexes, and he gives a breathy little laugh]

< ... f-fuck...>

[ He grabs Nagi's furred neck with one hand, his fingers tangling in his fur like he needs something to keep him grounded. Something to hold onto]

[unkinder]

[There's a soft chirp in the back of Nagi's throat in response to Neku cursing, something he's picked up from him specifically. He probably wouldn't have known it was an expletive otherwise, but he sure does now. That also means that he's on the right track, so let him just continue here...

Neku isn't the only one who needs grounding right now. That hand tangled up in his fur helps a lot.

Nagi has no pre-conceived notions about needing to beat around the bush, either. The instant he's finished licking Neku's stomach clean, he'll immediately move downward and start to lap carefully at his spent cock where most of the mess currently still is. So that's...a thing that Neku's going to have to contend with, because it's very gentle and deliberate...but no doubt stimulating at the same time no matter how it's done.]

[scratchitti]

Ah...

[The grip on Nagi's neck keeps him from twisting right out of his lap, his cock still so sensitive that even the light touch is almost too much. Not painful, but so very stimulating. He's young and pent up, it doesn't take much attention for him to start hardening again]

< ... that's kinda counter-productive >

[His mental tone is 'breath;ess' but a little amused too]

[unkinder]

[There's a soft, distant chuckle...one that sits in the very back of Neku's mind.]

< A little, perhaps... >

[Nagi's purrs deepen when Neku hardens against his tongue, prompting him to give his balls some attention, too. Just """cleaning""", of course.]

< You don't seem to mind, though. >

[scratchitti]

[ He loops his other arm around Nagi's neck, stretching himself out a bit more]

< I guess not. But you're kinda hard to argue with. >

[unkinder]

< Can you blame me? Sometimes I want to have a bit of fun, too... >

[And it's been ages since he's felt this way. He's spent far too much time fearful of the unknown, stressed and bitter. This kind of activity is a stress relief that's unmatched.

Speaking of...while Neku stretches out to get more comfortable against Nagi while he licks him, he might start to feel...something pressing into his lower back.]

[scratchitti]

[He certainly feels that and makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat. Honestly, it eases the last bit of reluctance from his mind- physically feeling that this was a shared experience.

He can't mimic the purring chirps Nagi makes, but he tries to do so mentally]

< Being stuck in one place for so long... being watched. Not exactly good for this kinda thing >

[unkinder]

[Now Neku's catching on. Nagi has been...basically unable to indulge in anything sexual for most of his young life, which has been difficult for a species that's rapidly going extinct on this planet, among other things. He's not just indulging Neku, here. This is for Nagi, too.

He shivers, and this time Neku will feel it outside of his mind as his paws knead gently against wherever they're wrapped around Neku while he laps at him with his tongue. It isn't long until he has to sort of flop on his side a little, unable to properly sit up the same. There's so much of him though that Neku won't even be on the ground, still resting against his belly while Nagi curls around him from the side.]

< Mmmhh. Neku... >

[scratchitti]

[He makes a slightly startled noise at the change in position, but it's just... so comfortable. Like a giant plush blanket. That can get you off. Maybe that wasn't the best comparison. Either way, he sighs happily]

< ... if you want to get off too I don't mind >

[unkinder]

[Oh. That admission makes Nagi's ears perk, and it's enough to cause him to pause for a moment and turn to look down at his human charge.]

< ...that doesn't bother you? >

[scratchitti]

< It's not fair for me to and you not to, yeah? It's fine. >

[He's blushing, but trying to play it cool]

[unkinder]

[Well in that case...Nagi is just going to pull Neku a little bit closer to him, purring as he briefly bumps his head against Neku's chin.

After that, he sort of...stretches out even longer, like a cat who is very comfortable in showing their belly off to someone they trust. It makes the fact that Nagi is aroused too that much more prominent, moreso in the fact that Neku will be able to see the tip of his cock poking into view past his long fur.]

< I'll help you...if you help me. >

[scratchitti]

[He can't help a stuttering little breath as Nagi's body moves under him, showing off the wet tip. Shit, actually seeing it just makes all of this more real. But he's no coward (anymore) so he gives a small nod of agreement before practically crawling down Nagi's torso.

Neku pauses, debating his approach... before spitting in his hand and reaching out, burying his fingers in the fur and searching out more of Nagi's length]

[unkinder]

[There's a sort of...purring chuckle, almost, that escapes Nagi as he feels his little human crawl his way down his belly, moving to settle in a more comfortable position against him. It's a little awkward, meaning that they're not quite facing each other, but that's fine. He can enjoy the view from up here just plenty.

A soft rrr follows that purring when Neku's hand strikes home, finding Nagi's length to be 1) soft beyond the general hardness of an erection and 2) ....barbed.

It's definitely barbed.

Also don't look now, Neku, but Nagi is going to reach out with his paws and grab your torso, tugging on his legs until he's able to reach him more easily from behind. He'll also try to grab at his pants a bit with his claws, to see if he can tug them down without ripping them. And if he does, well...oops.]

[scratchitti]

[He's so distracted by the barbs (and how could he NOT be? He presses his thumb against one to see how hard it is or if it has any give) that he only vaguely wiggles to try and assist in the removal of his pants... which likely gets in the way more than anything.

So they definitely tear]

H-hey!

[unkinder]

[...ah.

Nagi's ears fall back, and without thinking he pulls his head in, the whole of his neck sinking into one, furry mass to avoid getting kicked in the face. He wasn't expecting that sort of reaction, probably because he doesn't seem to see an issue with having ripped his pants. Humans are weird for needing these sorts of coverings anyway for reasons other than warmth and protection, he supposes. You could do far better if protection is what you're after.]

< ...sorry. >

[But still he hadn't actually meant to do that, so oops.

Also, for the purposes of satisfying Nagi's curiosity, the barbs are flexible. They're a little firm, but soft enough that they don't really feel sharp, if that makes sense.]