oddsandends | 95th ♫ | oops – deleted your number! all my friends used to warn me about you

Skip to Main Content

95th ♫ | oops – deleted your number! all my friends used to warn me about you

gen & spicy texting meme

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE THIS INTO TWO DIFFIERENT POSTS AND NEITHER DO YOU!!!! Just toplevel below and indicate in your toplevel whether you're just here to goof around with gen texting or you want to do some ~~spicy~~ stuff, as well as any relevant preferences! You can also include some good ol TFLNs as prompts. GO WILD GO CRAZY.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

1) We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night.

2) All I want in this world right now are Doritossssss.

3) No, you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away.

4) On a scale from 1 to 10, how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?

5) text her!

ah yes, the one thing on earth that could make one miss Tote-Em-Snax fare: not being on earth

(no subject)

nijistaryume - 2021-09-17 22:52 (UTC) - Expand

1) Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.

2) Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?

3) Apparently last night I yelled, "the cops were called on a motherfucker and that motherfucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwich.

4) I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by Reifr asking where Bryn is.

5) text her!

is this a trick question

is early renaissance acceptable

Edited 2021-09-17 22:39 (UTC)

(no subject)

leafygreen - 2021-09-17 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

1) I pointed at him and said, "there goes Mr. Fuckwad."

2) You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.

3) Totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

4) I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah, I'm probably not doing this right."

5) text her!

did you find another Jack? do we need to kill someone? cause i think basically everyone would wanna be in on that

(no subject)

cyberpunkrock - 2021-09-18 03:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

calrippedso - 2021-09-18 20:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cyberpunkrock - 2021-09-18 20:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

calrippedso - 2021-09-18 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cyberpunkrock - 2021-09-18 23:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

calrippedso - 2021-09-18 23:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cyberpunkrock - 2021-09-19 01:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

calrippedso - 2021-09-19 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cyberpunkrock - 2021-09-19 18:40 (UTC) - Expand

1. Please don't ironically join a cult.
2. My being sensible and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not all dead now.
3. He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the interaction.
4. It's 8pm and I have a headache, if you wanted to make plans, you're too late.
5. obligatory wildcard

It's unironic!

And not a cult!

(no subject)

nmc0204 - 2021-09-19 12:03 (UTC) - Expand

no no no no no no!!

that's the best part! i am MAKING a cult!

like from scratch, it's like a crafts project! only instead of glitter and macaroni i get unconditional worship and adoration!

(no subject)

nmc0204 - 2021-09-19 12:05 (UTC) - Expand

GEN
1. The merchant threw in a "freestyle rap" with my purchase. I'm never coming back here.
2. There's a man with a chicken on the leash, walking it down the street...
3. You begged me not to tell anyone you'd been a bat in your previous life.
4. They're trying to hold an intervention for someone at this tavern. Who let this happen?
5. WILDCARD BITCHES (text her)

SPICY (assumed cr/relationship for these! Garnet is 23, so anyone in their 20's is fine)
1. There's a bruise directly in the middle of my cleavage and I'm not even sure if I want to know how it got there.
2. Please stop looking down my dress. I can't concentrate.
3. [ The obligatory Smutty Selfie Option. There's cute lingerie and A Lot Of Boob. You're welcome! ]
4. WILDCARD BITCHES (text her)

I didn't mean it! It's just that everybody started talking about spirits and...

(no subject)

eventidings - 2022-01-01 22:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

ghostsguysgyuudon - 2022-01-01 22:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

eventidings - 2022-01-08 11:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

ghostsguysgyuudon - 2022-01-08 18:50 (UTC) - Expand

GEN
1. It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you.
2. I'm talking to a cute girl about giant robots, so that means I win at life.
3. I am about to get in a knife fight over a special dog.
4. You know that annoying kid in my class? Accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. Perfect end to the week!
5. WILDCARD BITCHES (text her)

SPICY (assumed cr/relationship for these! akane is also about ~17ish, but i'm happy to play her as like. early 20s/college student/whatever for meme purposes tho but big age gaps aint my bag)
1. Jeez, stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
2. May the power of thighs compel you!! 💕
3. I'm wearing a princess crown and no pants. It's that kind of evening I guess!
4. [ The obligatory Smutty Selfie Option. Akane's a lot better at it that Yuri. There's... a lot of boobage. ]
5. WILDCARD BITCHES (text her)

...is the food that important?

You started it! And I can say the same to you! 😣

1) Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.

2) This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.

3) And I mean, really, who loses their phone in a tree?

4) You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song.

5) text her!

1) New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?

2) maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal

3) we watched you eat an entire bag of doritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside

4) Just tried calling my phone on my phone because I thought I lost my phone.

5) text her!

[Haruka is 16, but prone to dirty jokes and awkward flirting. Just don't get too out there.]

1- don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.

2- I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito.

3- Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair.

4- I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?

5- I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes. It's definitely revenge time.

6- {text him, but why)

Edited 2021-09-17 22:12 (UTC)

That sounds more like an inconvenience.

1

calrippedso - 2021-09-18 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

4

sninja - 2021-09-18 02:03 (UTC) - Expand

5

nmc0204 - 2021-09-19 12:07 (UTC) - Expand

1- So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. The student council president colored in the fire on the burning building.

2- I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.

3- we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess.

4- IT'S A GIANT ROBOT. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.

5- This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag.

6- (text him)

I'm surprised she didn't think it was in poor taste.

4

sharddrive - 2021-09-18 01:13 (UTC) - Expand

Gen:
1:She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the watchmen's horn
2: please don't ironically join a cult
3: i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
4: I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.

Spicy:
1: she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
2: We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him, It was like catching dick in a barrel
3: she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
4: i just realized i have only had sex in tents so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
(or text her)

1- i vote for a trading skills night. you teach me to juggle, i'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

2- Regret, thy taste is box wine.

3- THE SULTANA WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN THE SULTANA GOES TO WAL MART.

4- i'm surprised putting the throwing knife dartboard next to the door didn't end up worse

5- can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

6- (text her)

Edited 2021-09-17 22:42 (UTC)

1. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.

2. I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join

3. I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

4. areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!

Edited 2021-09-17 23:50 (UTC)

I suppose most of what you own is orange, so the poor thing would need to stand out. Have you thought this through? A pet is a big responsibility.

(no subject)

scenestealer - 2021-09-18 00:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

indiglow - 2021-09-18 03:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

scenestealer - 2021-09-18 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

indiglow - 2021-09-18 04:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

scenestealer - 2021-09-18 12:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

indiglow - 2021-09-18 16:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

scenestealer - 2021-09-18 19:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

indiglow - 2021-09-18 19:12 (UTC) - Expand

1

prismatically - 2021-09-19 12:02 (UTC) - Expand

1: i heard we made out.
2: Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby Coruscant person
3: So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
4: he dressed up in a maid outfit and then he got upset when i asked him to do some cleaning.
5: [Or text him!]

GEN
1: I assure you, I can at least make popcorn for movie night without setting something on fire.
2: i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
3: You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???

SPICY
1: i almost lit my boobs on fire last night
2: We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
3: Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.

4: [Or text her!]

1 - she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left.
best one night stand ever.

2 - if work found out I was using THEIR tablets to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it

3 - there’s a kid, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises

4 - since the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? i'd screw myself.

5 - Wildcard me

I get the feeling a lot of people would say yes if they could.

(no subject)

calrippedso - 2021-09-18 20:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

wantofanail - 2021-09-26 08:09 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only