76th ♫ | magical fizzy drink

[mytarget]

texting meme y'all know what to do (or not!! this can just be a gen texting meme too!!!)

Comments

Yuuri Wakasa ✉ School-Live!

[serrata]

1. This is a mass text. Is everybody still alive?

2. I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not going to matter if we can't find you in the morning.

3. I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.

4. Do I want to know why there's a knife clogging the toilet?

5. (WILDCARD BITCHES)

2, though 1 was very tempting

[daughterofthemark]

Worry not! I need only continue following the left wall until I find the stairs.

[serrata]

And what about the next floor? And the one after that? Please tell me you aren't exploring the labyrinth drunk.

[daughterofthemark]

Of course I'm not drunk! I've not had any alcohol, only the mixed drinks.

[...]

Once I reach the stairs I will be able to exit. First I must navigate around this adorable creature...

[serrata]

[ OKAY HOLDING OFF ON THE MIXED DRINKS LECTURE BECAUSE THIS IS MUCH MORE URGENT: ]

What sort of adorable creature??

[daughterofthemark]

It looks very much like a dinosaur, or perhaps a small dragon!

[serrata]

ARIANNA YOU ARE COMING HOME THIS MINUTE EVEN IF I HAVE TO COME OUT THERE AND FIND YOU MYSELF

[ SHE CAN'T COPE WITH THIS STRESS, Y'ALL ]

[daughterofthemark]

I am making my way back! I need only determine its pattern of movement first.

[IT'S FINE.JPG]

[serrata]

[ literally puts her phone down for a hot second so she can facepalm into both hands before responding.

little sisters. they'll be the death of her. too late for that ]

Can you at least promise me you'll be coming home in one piece?

4

[sharddrive]

in case someone needs to stab someone in the bathroom

was that not obvious

oh, wait, no, sorry

in case someone needs to defend themselves in the bathroom

with violence

[serrata]

[ There's a pause before Yuuri's response in which she has to breathe in, count ten seconds, and breathe out. This is fine. ]

Let's back up and start again.

Why would someone need to defend themselves with a knife in the bathroom, of all places? What did I miss?

[sharddrive]

because overlanders are weirdly vulnerable with your pants down right

it makes the bathroom the ideal place for an ambush

but hardly any attacker expects the toilet knife

[Duh.]

you're welcome

[serrata]

[ Okay he's TECHNICALLY not wrong about that, but that isn't the point. She'll come back to that later. ]

You do realize this knife is going to end up in the garbage now, don't you? How is anyone ever supposed to use it again after it ended up in the toilet?

[sharddrive]

what? no! that's an important defensive cache, don't throw it out!

and you're supposed to use it for violence, i just said!

[serrata]

You do realize that even if someone happened to attack while someone was using the bathroom, by the time they'd gotten their hand down the toilet to get the knife, they would probably end up getting knocked out anyway. And that's assuming they don't shred their fingers to bits trying to pull the knife out of the water.

[ She'll logic you yet, Shard. Watch her. ]

[sharddrive]

[There's a noticeable delay before Shard's next response.]

okay

i see what you mean




i'll put together a schedule for some training drills so everyone's properly prepared for knife-toilet combat

speed is key here, and that'll take practice for you organic types

[serrata]

WE ARE NOT PREPARING FOR KNIFE-TOILET COMBAT AND THAT IS FINAL.

[sharddrive]

fine, you don't have to if you don't want to

but if anyone else wants to be prepared i can't just deny them my expertise

it's practically my duty

[serrata]

Oh I know that. If someone really gets it into their heads to learn something like that from you, I can't stop them.

But what I CAN do is hold you personally responsible for every single injury that happens as a result.

[sharddrive]

[Okay, so he could admit that this might not be the best idea. Or at least take such responsibility as is normal for a combat trainer.]

you're not my real mom

[serrata]

Maybe not. But if anyone gets hurt because of all this knife nonsense, then I'll make you wish she was here.

[ TH–THREATENING... ]

[sharddrive]

fine

but if someone gets hurt because they DIDN'T have a toilet knife







okay i don't know but i'll probbaly say 'i told you so' or something

i'll come up with the specifics if it happens

i'm a fighter not a poet

[serrata]

If we're ever in a situation where someone has actually managed to break into our toilet and is really laying in wait to do us harm, I think an "I told you so" would be the least of our worries, don't you?

[sharddrive]

i'm capable of fighting off intruders and speaking truth to authority at the same time

it's a feature not a bug

[serrata]

Is it something programmed in, or did you just figure it out all by yourself?