oddsandends | 90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

Fail Sex♦The Meme

While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.

mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability.

outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah.

[He was actually about to segue into what the different part means, but it seems that Roxas is one step ahead of him. And if he's asking him that question...

Riku feels that telltale stirring in the pit of his gut that makes him want to recede into the carpet below them, mostly because his body betraying him while he's trying to explain what they're even doing is an oxymoron in and of itself.]

It feels different...that's for sure.

["Different how" is what he needs to get across, it's just...awkward. It does help that Roxas is so earnest, at least. Describing it is probably one of the harder things Riku has tried to do, though, and it shows in the way he visibly struggles for a moment to put it into words.]

I feel...warm. And happy. Especially when we kiss, or when I just...get to be with you. You know?

[He's dancing around the real answer, still trying to find the best words to use that won't just confuse Roxas even more.]

My...body reacts to it too. But it's a little hard to explain...

[Because now that he thinks about it, he has NO idea whether or not Roxas has been feeling the same way he has. He might be receptive to what Riku does, but if it's solely because he never understood his intentions...]

[Roxas is studying him with that steady curiosity he always manages to convey, and as he listens, he looks... disappointed. Increasingly so. Because what he's feeling is similar, but not...quite that muted. And he's worried he's about to hurt Riku.]

I want to spend time with you, I look forward to it and I look for reasons to do it. And...my body's definitely reacting to when you kiss me. But--

[He has to take a moment, breathes in deep, and keeps going.]

It's not just...warm. Every time you kiss me, it's like lightning through my whole body. Today it feels like I'm on fire. Everywhere your hands go, it's like...static. Tingling. But--in a way I want to happen. It makes my head feel fuzzy.

[Not the happiest delivery of "I'm so into you I feel drunk when you kiss me," but he doesn't realize that's what he's saying. He just thinks he's describing something different than Riku's feeling, and therefore he must not like him the same way.]

[...oh.

Riku's mouth drops open, stays that way for a second, then closes again.

He doesn't miss the very specific way Roxas just described that. Like lighting, but today like fire. It makes his head feel fuzzy, he says. It's actually a little overwhelming in a good way to have it confirmed in such direct terms that Roxas not only feels the same towards Riku, but on just as much of an intimate level even if it isn't something he fully understands.

He shakes his head a little before quickly bringing a hand to press to the side of his face. Since Roxas is paying such close attention, he'll notice just how red Riku actually is.]

I'm sorry, just...let me start over.

[He needs to be more blunt about this or Roxas is going to think he doesn't feel the same way, which is quite the opposite of what Riku was worried about just then.]

I feel that way too. That feeling of lightning and static, and like your body is on fire...that's normal. It means that you really like what's going on. But I only feel that way with you. Nobody else. And I don't kiss anybody else either. It's...a special thing that I've only been doing with you. I only want to do it with you.

[He doesn't want Roxas to keep looking all dejected and disappointed like that, so as he's talking he'll reach forward and take one of Roxas's hands in his.]

I care about you a lot, so I'm going to teach you what this is...okay? It can just be a little awkward to talk about, but...it's important.

[Roxas seems to perk up hesitantly with that explanation, sees how red Riku is and how much he's trying to figure out how to say this, and it's putting him at ease. Even though his own cheeks are coloring a bit as he hears Riku talk about how special it is that they want this with each other, he's incredibly receptive to having his hand taken, curls his fingers around Riku's in kind and holds on securely.]

...okay. I'll listen, and try to understand it. I...want to keep doing this. With you.

[...And then he pauses.]

Even though...I kind of want to kiss somebody else just so I know what it would feel like otherwise. [His logic would be less flawed if he were more up to speed on the social repercussions.]

[Roxas oh my god. Riku laughs a little in spite of himself, because only someone who has no idea what this is even about would say something like that. He's not even bothered in that sense, even if the mental image of Roxas kissing someone else isn't a pleasant one.]

Well see...that's what makes it special. It wouldn't mean anything if you just went around kissing everyone.

[There are nuances of course- such as kissing someone platonically, or even those who have multiple partners- but he doesn't want to confuse Roxas with scemantics. He'll start smaller.]

You have friends. I'm pretty sure you already know what a friend is by itself. But when you have someone you feel this strongly about, you call them your "boyfriend". Or "girlfriend", depending. You could say you're partners, too. All it means is that you're devoted to each other in a way that's deeper than just being friends.

If you're certain you want to keep doing this, then it means we're boyfriends, now. Does that make sense so far?

[Roxas eases up so much more at that laugh, and breathes a little deeper now that he's calming.]

...so we're boyfriends. [He squeezes Riku's hand.] I can understand that.

[But then he narrows his eyes at him, like he's just not sure about something.]

...But you know I didn't say that because I want to kiss somebody else...right? I just wanna know what the difference is like. Because I really like kissing you...

[Is that...flirting??]

[You know what it damn well might be and it's almost enough to make Riku laugh again because he's pretty sure Roxas doesn't even realize it...]

Well, I'm glad. I guess there is a difference between actually wanting it and just wanting to experiment...

[And it makes sense Roxas would be curious. Riku can't hold that against him, especially since this is something so completely new. He has no concept of anything like cheating for example, and he doubts he ever would need to anyway.]

Because it's going to feel different. Sometimes people call this sort of thing having a "spark" with someone. It's that static feeling you get when we're kissing. It's actually possible that you could have found it with someone else, if you didn't with me first. Hearts can be funny, that way.

[Riku sighs, brushing his thumb over the back of Roxas's knuckles.]

Anyway. You remember when you said that kissing me made your head feel fuzzy?

[Roxas keeps an eye on his Riku's face, watching, tilting his head to the side as he listens. It doesn't surprise him that this can happen with others, but...He gets that it's special, for sure.]

Yeah. That always happens a little bit, but...today's different. What we're doing is new. It's...so much more.

[Today's different, huh? Well...that does tell him a lot about where exactly Roxas is in all of this. It also means that Riku still has a lot of explaining to do, and it's not going to get any easier from here. Roxas means so much to him, though...he's willing to take this step by step to ensure he not only understands, but has this knowledge so he can make decisions regarding it on his own.]

Yeah, that...that's pretty common too. It's uh...there's a lot more you can do with someone than just kissing. There are ways you can kiss each other...and touch each other that make you feel really good.

[Riku glances off to the side out of pure reflex for just a moment, his heart hammering in his ears so hard that he can't think straight.]

It's called sex.

[Roxas hasn't looked away from Riku, is watching him look away, look so nervous and embarrassed. He doesn't get why it's such a huge deal to talk about this, but it's clearly important for Riku to get this across.]

...is the different touching why you climbed on top of me? [And then, after a very brief pause, with a little extra interest:] And what's the different kissing like?

[Riku huffs under his breath, amused. Could you be any more curious, Roxas? It's really cute...]

It was, yeah. Sortof.

[Not that he even really got that far, but he was getting there alright?]

If you want, it might be easier to just...show you a bit instead of trying to explain it.

[He knows he'll just have to be willing to stop at any point to answer Roxas's questions, or to teach him something else he doesn't know. He has little doubts that more questions than answers are going to come up once Roxas gets good and acquainted with what it's like to be aroused.]

[Roxas isn't hesitant at all when he lets go if Riku's hand to reach up his arm a bit and tug.]

Then c'mere and show me.

[There's more than a little cheekiness to that; he's excited. At least Riku doesn't have to be worried about whether or not Roxas likes what they've been doing. The rest of the worlds don't exist; it's just this room and his boyfriend.]

[It's more than a relief to see that, honestly. Even with the minor doubts he had in the beginning that this could potentially be a misunderstanding, it's safe to say that isn't the case now. Roxas does want to do this with him, he just needs a little guidance as to what this is, what to do, and how to do it. The best way to get there is going to be directly through experience, which Riku is more than happy to provide.]

Someone's eager.

[He remarks as Roxas tugs on him, a gesture that Riku immediately relents to as he allows himself to be pulled in. He's smiling, but he'd be smiling even wider if he knew that Roxas was already referring to him mentally as his boyfriend.

But, okay. The best way to go about this is to go back to where he was before...with Roxas laying beneath him while he straddles him from above. He's a little more careful with the way he's positioned himself this time with the intent of easing Roxas in a bit more slowly. They've actually kissed quite a bit at this point, though Riku knows now Roxas didn't fully understand why. He thinks it's going to be charged a bit differently this time when Riku leans in to catch his lips in a kiss, one that starts out small before building to something much more.

Riku indicates a desire for entrance to Roxas's mouth by gently tracing his bottom lip with his tongue, expecting him to reactively part his lips in reply. Once he does, Riku will use his weight to lean in just a little more against Roxas, actually delving his way into his mouth for a proper kiss, tongue and all. It's no chaste touching of lips, this time. Riku has every intent to explore Roxas from top to bottom here while also giving him the room to push back if the curiosity strikes since he can imagine being kissed like this must be a bit strange, at first.

But it feels all the better to know the sort of effect it can have on your partner, especially given the way Riku gives a low sound through it, one that hums against Roxas's lips long before they part again for breath. And this isn't even yet touching on the other ways he can kiss him...Riku just really wanted to get that out of his system first.]

Can't help it.

[He murmurs into the space between their lips as Riku leans in. Roxas feels his stomach flip and his heart flutter at the kiss this time, and for the first time, he's figured out that this is...truly something special. That this means that they are something special. So instead of his hands not really knowing where to go, Roxas feels comfortable wrapping his arms loosely around Riku's neck.

[The kiss starts slow, and at the very least, Riku is right to think that he's going to open his mouth for him reflexively. He makes a little bit of a noise at the feeling of tongue against tongue, and another in reaction to the groan from Riku. But he's responding in turn and mimicking movements, exploring right back while his fingers idly tangle into Riku's hair.]

[He can feel this kiss all the way down to the pit of his stomach. His body's going to be reacting before he knows what's going on.]

[At the very least, Roxas can feel rest assured in the fact that Riku is feeling the same effects from the kissing that he is. Honestly, he's always felt this way, he just...has very intimate knowledge of exactly what's happening and why. When you've fallen this hard for a guy, it's a little hard not to get hot and bothered even just from a little kissing. If anything more than this will be a lot for Riku, he can't even begin to imagine what it's going to be like for Roxas. That's exactly why he's going to take this slow so he can pay attention to every reaction, ready to respond in kind.

Roxas reacting and mimicking the way he's kissed just makes the experience all the nicer. It's a thrill, feeling Roxas press back against him even if it's a little tenative and clumsy. He catches the feeling of hands in his hair (god, he never thought something so simple could feel so good) just a second before he draws back for a second to take a breath, only to go right back in to resume the kissing.

This goes on for a minute or so, just long enough for the act of kissing itself to get just hot and heavy enough between them for Riku to need to push it to elsewhere. For a second time the kiss gets broken, but Riku's kisses continue on seamlessly as he kisses Roxas on the cheek, then drags his lips down to kiss against the underside of his jaw. Then even lower still, his lips marching a slow and careful track down to the inside of his neck, the soft sound of his mouth against his skin following each one.]

[Roxas's fingers in his Riku's hair twitch at the sensation of lips on his neck; he's not questioning where he's going with it, definitely back to being drunk on the feeling of intimacy between them. But he's enjoying the attention to his neck in particular, and Riku's gonna feel him shudder under him.]

...that's new. [He sounds breathless in a way Riku's never heard from him.]

[He could get used to hearing Roxas like that. It's enough to make Riku shiver, something he manages to keep inward as he huffs a laugh against his skin. His breath is hot and very close as it happens, lips moving still against him as he replies in an undertone.]

Mm...nobody ever said a kiss just had to be on the lips.

[Which Roxas is going to become very familiar with, if Riku has anything to say about it. Case in point...

Before he kisses his neck again, he gives Roxas the treatment of letting his tongue join in to trace the line of his pulse once he finds it before resealing his lips to his neck, only this time the kiss is a bit firmer than before. Not uncomfortably so, but physically much sharper in a way that Roxas will be able to feel.

...look, Riku told himself mentally he'd try not to leave any marks so people didn't ask questions, but he couldn't resist just one hickey so sue him.]

[Just one, he thinks, but the moment Riku starts to bite, Roxas gasps and his fingers tighten in Riku's hair. He makes another noise, this one a little more halted, but definitely more of an involuntary moan.]

Riku...that feels good. [Whether it's because his favorite things are easy to find, or that they're what Riku's quickest to try, is debatable; either way, Riku's zeroing in on the things Roxas is going to respond best to.]

[...fuck. JUST ONE, HE THOUGHT...

Now he has to ask himself which he's more willing to chase: more of those sounds from Roxas, or a future in which he doesn't get his ass kicked by Lea?

He's thinking...definitely the former. He's been through worse, and that can just be a problem for future Riku to deal with.]

Good...

[He whispers back, kissing the red mark he left behind before moving on to an unmarred area of skin. This time he opens his mouth a little wider, his teeth deliberately grazing over his collarbone. He hadn't wanted to overwhelm Roxas with too much sensations all at the same time, but...it's difficult to avoid letting one of his own hands wander up to reach into the side of Roxas's hair for himself. Just a gentle touch in quiet reply to his own, his fingers gently brushing through and tucking one of those blonde locks behind his ear as he relishes every sound he manages to draw out of him.]

How else do you feel right now?

[Roxas has his eyes closed, head tilted to let Riku at whatever skin he wants.]

Mnn...breathless. Warm. [So close to his mouth, Riku can hear every hitch in Roxas's breath with every graze of teeth or new wave of suction. He's reacting to every bit of this attention, including leaning his head into the hand in his hair.]

...tense and relaxed...at the same time.

[This is a very dangerous path he treads, because the sounds Roxas is making are- quite frankly- making his pants real tight right about now. It's not something Roxas will be able to notice just yet, and honestly Riku doesn't think he'd be looking for it to notice anyway, but he still has to keep reminding himself to go slow. Calm down, take it slow...

Not that Roxas is making it very easy on him, as receptive and pliant as he is right now.

He smiles against him, pressing the pads of his fingertips gently against his scalp as he pushes his fingers a little further back with a few more kisses peppered to the skin he's mercifully left unmarked so far. He can see just out of the corner of his eye that a few places on his neck are already starting to bruise, oops.]

Yeah...me too. That's how it feels, when you do stuff like this.

[But even with Roxas like putty in his hands, there's still plenty more he could be doing. Plenty more he wants to get his mouth on. And that's going to start with Riku shifting his weight back just a little, enough so that his free hand can reach its fingertips beneath the bottom edge of Roxas's t-shirt. ]

I'm going to push your shirt up a little, okay? You'll see why.

[Roxas actually groans in a way that sounds like a petulant whine when Riku pulls back from him. He's pouting again. You stopped, Riku. How could you?

[But at least he's interested in the next step they're taking. He hears that and just...y'know, he's trying to help. Doesn't think about what might happen if he arches his hips and back up so Riku can push his shirt up without any restrictions.

[But Riku is above his legs. This should be fun.]

[How could he. Surely not to do something to make you whine even more, Roxas. Surely not.

And like...that was what he was planning on. He was already in the motions of starting to ease up his shirt, planning to get it up just far enough for him to have some new Roxas Real Estate(tm) to work with. There's just the tiny little problem that comes up when Roxes suddenly shifts in a way he wasn't expecting at all. And normally, it wouldn't really be a problem? But here?

Roxas ends up making contact with Riku directly without meaning to, their hips connecting and brushing together in less of a brief graze and more of a grind that actually causes Riku to choke. There's absolutely no way Roxas won't be able to feel something he's never felt before that's currently not doing a very good job of hiding in Riku's pants anymore, especially not when he's half doubled-over and struggling to catch his breath from the jolt of pleasure that rocketed so forcefully through him just then that he forgot what he was doing for a second.]

Unngh.

[Also, that. That sound happened.]

[The thing is, that accidental grind is quite a bit for both of them. Roxas makes a much more desperate noise at the friction in a place he wasn't aware was going to feel so strongly, and he's pretty acutely aware that they're both dealing with this reaction.

[But the sound Riku makes is what gets Roxas t realize his pants are...tight. Very. He's reaching up and trying to get his attention, trying to touch at his jaw.]

What did--what'd I do? [He's had the wind knocked out of him and his brain turned off.]

[Oh my god, Roxas is going to kill him. He is just going die because he was not expecting all of this to be this much, and he's nowhere near as inexperienced and uninformed about this sort of thing in comparison. He knew he was going to have to explain this sooner rather than later anyway. Either he'd get to it naturally through process of elimination, or Roxas would start to feel it and ask about it on his own.

He finally opens his eyes when he feels that light touch of fingers against his jaw before his head ducks forward a little, a breathless laugh escaping him.

Oh boy.]

I...maybe should have e-explained this sooner...don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong.

[He knows Roxas is probably going to pout again at the lack of contact, but this time Riku has to deliberately shift back just so he makes sure their hips aren't touching for now. He's not going to be able to explain anything if that happens again. He doesn't even have to look, but curiosity gets the better of him anyway and he does and god, yeah. Roxas is...he's hard, too.

It's embarrassing how that makes his heartrate kick up, it's like he's sixteen again.]

All of the stuff you've been feeling up until now, a lot of the time it'll cause...this to happen.

[He moves just a little so he's positioned a little closer, but not so close that they're touching. Just kindof to make a point...and so Roxas can see the way the front of his slacks are tented.]

You end up getting stiff and hard down here. It can be really sensitive...and hurt a bit, too. But it also feels really good when touched, like...like you're releasing some of that pressure.

[This is so hard to talk about, god...and he's not even usually the one who is this open about shit. If he were a different type of person, he'd just be able to turn off the filter from his brain to his mouth, but...he's thinking about it too hard. He has to remember that Roxas has no frame of reference for anything, and therefore can't be judgemental or even have any concept of what they're doing as being a bad time. And even then, he'd tell Riku if he wasn't enjoying it.]

You actually...sort of have to do that to get it to go back to normal, usually. It will on its own, but it takes a while and ends up just being uncomfortable.

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