90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[scratchitti]

[Neku is pretty pinned in now. Not trapped- if he yanked himself out of Nagi's lap he knows he would be allowed. But the caging in and the purring certain gives an impression. One that Nagi doesn't just not care about it, but on fact wants to see.

Neku isn't sure how he feels about that yet, but it makes him throb. And Nagi was right, it was starting to hurt]

< Ngh... you better not start making comments, got it? >

[ and with a little fumbling he presses his palm against his bulge, intending to just shift around to relieve the pressure. But even just that is too much, and he almost yelps, bucking against his hand without even managing to unzip anything]

[unkinder]

< I won't...since you asked nicely. >

[But make no mistake, he is thinking them. Just...privately. Mostly in a way that Neku won't be able to hear.

He can't mask his surprise at just how strongly Neku relaxes to his own touch, however. He can't imagine it's that sensitive, truly...or maybe he just hasn't taken care of himself in a long while?

Nagi finds himself too curious not to watch, his head looking over the top of Neku's as he struggles to get a handle on himself.]

< There's no need to rush, you know. >

[scratchitti]

[It's very clear he's just super pent up- has he even got off even once since their escape? Yes, but not often. When would he have the time?

He grumbles at Nagi's suggestion, but he guesses he's not wrong, and Nagi having an opinion at all about what he does with his dick just winds him up even more. He's a bit more careful after that, actually getting his pants open so he can get his hand down there. He's not bold enough to actually pull it out, but he's hard enough it's impossible to completely hide.]

[unkinder]

[Nagi still can't understand why Neku would want to hide himself, but...he isn't going to continue to question it. Modesty is a human concept, but one that he's still largely unfamiliar with, it seems.

Still, that won't stop him from watching as Neku reaches into his pants to relieve himself, as much as it seems inconvenient to still be mostly confined to his clothing. The creature hums, another rumble against Neku's back, as his tail wraps around them both.]

< If I groomed you more...would that help? >

[It seemed to be what got him randy in the first place, after all.]

[scratchitti]

[Ooooh he should say no, he should definitely say no. But-]

<...sure, if you want to. >

[unkinder]

[HE REALLY SHOULD...but that permission is enough for Nagi.

He starts to purr again, nuzzling his face against the back of Neku's hair. And honestly, at this point...it's maybe coming across as less than just your normal, grooming-related affection. Especially when Nagi is pulling Neku a little more securely into his lap with his paws cradling his side and front.

A rough tongue lathes across the side of Neku's cheek as Nagi speaks, able to multitask thanks to telepathy.]

< I don't want you to be uncomfortable, Neku. I'm enjoying this too, you know. >

[scratchitti]

[That actually surprises him, and it clear both in his expression and his mind. He pauses in his stroking, turning his head to actually face Nagi]

<... you mean that? >

[Not like he can really lie like this, but Neku wants to hear it directly]

[unkinder]

< Yes. >

[Nagi's voice is as monotone as it ever is, but...it somehow seems softer right now in the forefront of Neku's mind.

He bumps his head gently into Neku's, again a very cat-like gesture.]

< Though, the only reason I am willing to admit that is because I know there's no one you could ever tell. >

[It's hard to tell if he's joking or actually being serious, but it probably doesn't matter. If anything, it's just a way for Nagi to buffer his feelings. He might be less ashamed by certain things compared to Neku, but that doesn't mean talking about how he feels about him is any easier.]

[scratchitti]

< Tch, it pretty much is just the two of us now, huh? >

[ The idea doesn't seem to bother him too much, and his attention refuses to be pulled away from his dick for very long. But slightly comforted by Nagi's words he decides to shove his pants down a little in a rush, giving himself more room to work.

He's really damn close, the head peeking out from his foreskin even before he goes back to stroking, muffling himself with his other hand out of habit.]

[unkinder]

[Pretty much. Neku is, quite literally, the only person Nagi has. It almost makes too much sense that he ended up growing so fond of him.

Nagi's ears perk forward when Neku suddenly concedes to finally pulling his pants down enough to give him a proper look at what he's working with. He wasn't lying when he said that everything's just out there, was he...

Neku muffles himself, yet Nagi can still hear little snippets of feedback coming through, Neku's own pleasure hitting him in little waves. It's really good, actually...and as if to encourage him further, Nagi turns to bury his face into his neck again, nipping his collarbone before licking him there with purpose.

The small, affected sound that left Nagi through his fangs between licks just then was probably Neku's imagination.]

and here comes the fail part

[scratchitti]

[ Nagi pressing him so close, making those pleased noises, nipping and licking at his throat and collar bone-

- it's really too bad that he let himself get so worked up before allowing himself to actually enjoy it. Because as nice as it would be to relax and just let the comfort of Nagi's attention slowly crest him to a finish, after a few strokes and he's half curling in on himself, only stopped by Nagi's paws. He comes like he's been punched in the gut with practically no warning and not nearly as much satisfaction as he wanted.

He goes limp for a moment... then realizes what happened and curses, voice a little slurred]

It's- I'm not usually that fas- goddamn it...

[He's so embarrassed that he doesn't even think to, well, 'think' his words, instead grumbling aloud]

poor poor neku

[unkinder]

[Oh. That was...while not entirely unexpected, a lot quicker than Nagi was expecting. The way Neku curls in on himself and just abruptly...explodes causes Nagi's tail to puff out a little, his paws holding him like he thinks he might just jump out of his lap if he doesn't keep him there. He can feel through what little Neku is giving him mentally that Neku isn't satisfied...embarrassed and frustrated more than anything.]

< ...oh. >

[Is all Nagi eventually has to say at first, looking at where Neku's release has streaked his own hands...and Nagi's right paw, by the looks of it.]

< You must have needed that. >

[scratchitti]

[Seeing that bit of white against Nagi's dark fur sure does something to him, but embarrassment is stronger for now, so he wipes his hand on the grass and fumbles to try and wipe it off Nagi's paw with his shirt edge]

< Fuck, sorry...

... and yeah, it's been a while. >

[unkinder]

< Neku... >

[In an attempt to help calm Neku's nerves, even just a little, Nagi will shift just a bit to rest his head against Neku's shoulder, a veritable pillow of fur suddenly beside his head now to lean against.]

< It's alright. I'm not bothered. >

[...there's a tinge of disappointment, if anything. He sortof wanted to clean that away himself.]

[scratchitti]

[He feels that flash of disappointment and freezes in his cleaning attempts... and eventually leans his head against Nagi's long head and neck]

< You probably shouldn't, it tastes bad. >

[God wtf is he saying??? But it's hard to find it weird with Nagi being so calm about it]

[unkinder]

[What is he saying indeed...Neku can do all the fretting for them, because Nagi doesn't seen to give even slightly a damn. It's nice that Neku is leaning into him though, causing Nagi to start purring again.]

< You're saying this to someone who grooms their entire body with their tongue on the regular, you know. >

[scratchitti]

< ... gross >

[His 'tone' is teasing though, and now that he's not freaking out he starts returning to a little bit of that post-orgasm relaxation. Though sadly the adrenaline ruined most of it]

[unkinder]

[Something like a laugh leaves Nagi, then. A chitter more than anything as he licks across Neku's cheek.]

< I mean it. Even if it was short...I enjoyed that. >

[scratchitti]

< ... yeah? >

[The implication hits him- the possibility that thanks to the psychic connection Nagi might have legitimately felt his orgasm. Might have in some form got off with him.

The idea makes his cock throb even if it's too soon to get hard again. Goddamn]

< Then, I guess it'd be fine if I did that again some time? >

[unkinder]

[Whether or not that's what happened...it seems like Nagi isn't being forthcoming in telling. He just purrs a little louder, knowingly almost, as his tail wraps around them both.]

< I suppose. But only if you let me join you again. >

[Maybe even let him be more actively involved, next time.]

[scratchitti]

< ... I guess that would be easier than trying to be sneaky about it. >

[ he suddenly realizes he's still hanging out of his pants, but is too boneless and content to put himself away yet]

[unkinder]

[Neku isn't the only one who's noticed that, but Nagi hasn't made a point to say anything about it yet. He just been sort of...watching, curiously.

And as bluntly as he's said and done anything else, he eventually asks, unprompted:]

< Would you be bothered if I cleaned you off? >

[scratchitti]

[Metal Gear Alert Sound Here

He freezes... then before he can talk himself out of it he shoves his shorts the rest of the way off, kicking them away]

< ... okay. Okay, sure. Yeah >

[unkinder]

[If Nagi weren't so good at keeping his emotions under wraps, he would have laughed audibly in his head at the way Neku just completely kicks his pants off like that, as if he'd been waiting for Nagi to suggest that all day. The creature himself certainly hasn't cared much for modesty up until now, so if anything Neku having less clothes now is a positive.

Hopefully it helps that he doesn't have anything smart to say. He just rumbles in affirmation, curving his head around the side of Neku this time so he can reach him better. It also gives Neku room to put his hand on Nagi's head or neck if he wants as he starts to pass his rough tongue over his stomach first, immediately going for whatever got left there that Neku didn't manage to frantically clean before.]

[scratchitti]

[It's smeared and not easily visible, but certainly still sticky. Neku's stomach twitches and flexes, and he gives a breathy little laugh]

< ... f-fuck...>

[ He grabs Nagi's furred neck with one hand, his fingers tangling in his fur like he needs something to keep him grounded. Something to hold onto]