90th ♫ | love just means i never have to think you're right

[mytarget]

 

 Fail Sex♦The Meme




While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

 

Comments

[unkinder]

[Better.

A side effect of the grooming now being mutual is that Nagi begins to purr in earnest, the sound escaping past his fangs every time he licks Neku. He really is like a giant cat grooming a kitten at this point, even going so far as to return to his hair for a minute to nibble at the nape when he notices some tangles there. You know, totally something Neku will be able to tolerate long term.]

< Family would groom one another often. It’s what I remember spending most of our down time doing. >

[Otherwise they’d be hunting or sleeping.]

[scratchitti]

[ A rush of affection runs through him, strong enough to be felt. Touched by being included in this activity Nagi clearly feels strongly about.

But even so, he can't help squirming from the nip of teeth. even more of his neck, shoulders and face are red now and his scent starts to shift]

< ... sorry I'm kinda a poor replacement >

[unkinder]

[Neku shifting around is mostly just inconvenient at first, Nagi resisting the instinctual urge to scruff him to keep him still since humans don’t have that looser skin back there. Instead, he hugs Neku a bit closer with a grumble, pushing his shirt sleeve up with his muzzle as he starts to lick his arm.

But then he notices the way his scent is changing. It’s still very Neku- and now overwhelmingly Nagi- but it sits much heavier in Nagi’s nostrils. It makes the fur on the back of his own neck and shoulders prickle reflexively.

Hm.]

< Don’t apologize. As much as I hate to admit it...I appreciate that you would allow me to do this. >

[scratchitti]

< It's not a big deal- but don't think you're doing it all the time. You'll lick my skin right off! >

[ Plus he will die from boner induced embarrassment]

[unkinder]

[Nagi chuffs at that, letting his claws lightly catch the edge of Neku's shirt a little so he can push it up past his navel for emphasis.]

< I would be finished by now if it weren't for all of these coverings. >

[scratchitti]

[Neku flounders, pushing his shirt down and getting Nagi's paw half caught under it in his rush]

< I am NOT getting naked! >

[unkinder]

[Oh. Nagi blinks with his paw still pressed against Neku's bare skin since he effectively trapped it there. Well fine, if Neku is going to be difficult about it, he will just leave it where it lays against his stomach.

At least his pawpads are soft and warm.]

< Does it really bother you that much? >

[Nagi is...always naked, obviously. But he's also covered in fur. He probably wouldn't like it much if he were shaved, so he supposes he understands in that regard...but the idea of being ashamed of his body just isn't something Nagi can fathom.]

[scratchitti]

< It's... embarrassing. I guess It's not something you would get. >

[Oh, his pawpads are warm... no, no bad Neku don't think along those lines... welp, too late]

[unkinder]

[Nagi's head sort of...tilts a bit to one side, his tail tip flicking against the forest floor. It probably isn't going to help Neku at all that he's started to knead his paws a little, more out of thought than anything else...but it's having the side effect of being done AGAINST Neku so, oops.]

< I like to think I am intelligent enough to pick up on things I don't understand. >

[He may have a different thought process, but he's learned human customs and ideals pretty quick. Especially from having been forced among them for so long.]

[scratchitti]

[The kneading makes him groan a little, biting his lip to keep most of the sound from escaping]

< ... okay fine. Humans don't like being without their clothing because all their... reproductive stuff... is just kinda there. Exposed. >

[unkinder]

[It's just exposed? Nagi's fur ruffles a little, making his psueudo-ears perk forward.]

< ...evolution was not kind to your species. >

[He states bluntly, eyeing the parts of Neku that are bare skin that he can see.]

< You have hardly any hair on you at all, no protection to speak of... >

[The toes of that offending paw curl inward, pressing a little more firmly against Neku's midriff. Thankfully it hasn't accidentally wandered any lower...yet.]

< You would be dead by now if you hadn't discovered technology. >

[And clothes.]

[scratchitti]

< Hey, there's a reason! It's because sweating gives us really good stamina so we just kinda evolved to sweat as much as possible. Bare skin, all the stuff that can bake easily open to the air, no fur... we're only really good at one thing but we're REALLY good at it. >

[ Don't ask why he knows this- he's very well-read. He pictures humans chasing down prey by simply not getting tired. Sloooowly stalking an animal until it collapses from exhaustion. it's a little terrifying]

< Not that most of us do that NOW >

[unkinder]

[He supposes that makes sense enough...but with that explanation, Neku has only invited more questions as Nagi suddenly prods at one of Neku's hands with his paw currently not wrapped around him.]

< Is that why you are so sweaty right now? >

[Nagi doesn't sweat himself- or rather, what little he does is through his pawpads, if even then. He pants like a dog might for the rest of his cooling faculties.]

[scratchitti]

[ He freezes up, his mind a sputtering mess of embarrassing flailing]

< Uhhh... p-probably? >

[unkinder]

[Neku, you forget that Nagi communicates solely through his thoughts. You can't hide from him that easily.]

< Okay. Now try that again without lying. >

[scratchitti]

... okay that's not fair.

[Said aloud just to be a shit]

< ... I'm sweaty because... ugh, because all the grabbing and licking is making my skin sensitive. >

[Which isn't a lie? Not the whole truth, but not a lie]

[unkinder]

[It's definitely unfair, but Nagi isn't always the nicest creature ever. He's at least gone a lot softer in Neku's presence in particular, but still...

Nagi considers that answer as he looks Neku over again. Does sensitive skin make humans sweat more? And that also doesn't entirely explain the way his scent has started to change...

He leans in, his body so large that he unintentionally curls a bit around Neku. His other paw wraps around him, but he's not aggressively licking him for the moment.]

< Is it too much? >

[scratchitti]

[Being caged in makes him gasp, and without thinking he nuzzles in deeper to all that soft fur]

< ... it doesn't hurt. Just a little overwhelming >

[unkinder]

[Neku nuzzles against him, prompting a little rumble from Nagi.]

< Grooming is comforting. I may have gotten overzealous. >

[scratchitti]

[Nagi is being so... nice about it, in his way. He's always been blunt, but they both were, so Neku isn't as put off by it as he might have been with someone else... still, it makes him feel like he owes Nagi a better explanation. Especially if he's going to want to keep being so physical]

< Just a little. Erm... remember how I said humans' everything is exposed? That... might be part of why I was being weird. >

[He's never STOPPED being red, but he can feel himself somehow heating up MORE]

[unkinder]

[Humans' everything is exposed...he's not sure he fully understands.]

< What exactly do you mean by..."weird"? >

[scratchitti]

[god talking about this SHOULD be killing his boner, but it's really not]

< Ngh, damn it! I mean all the petting is getting me worked up!! >

[and with the wash of embarrassment and mental images that go with the outburst it's pretty obvious what he means, hiding his face more in the fur]

[unkinder]

[Even if Nagi had somehow missed all of Neku's other cues, the mental images he gives him then would be more than enough to clue him in to what's happened.

Neku is...oh. Shit, that's what he's been smelling?

Nagi's fur ruffles, an inward shiver passing through him as, for a handful of seconds, his brain emits not much more than the equivalent of static. Because...Nagi was so young when his family was destroyed that he never even got the slightest opportunity to explore this sort of thing with his own kind. He hadn't reached sexual maturity at that point, but since then...well.

Being in isolation has really sucked, let's just put it that way.

So now, Nagi is...finding himself weirdly interested all of a sudden, leaning far forward so he can try to look at Neku's face even though he's hiding it.]

< You're aroused. >

[scratchitti]

[One eye peeks out from the fur, glaring but the effect ruined by his blush]

< ... you don't have to be so blunt about it. >

[unkinder]

[If Nagi seems at all bothered by this revelation, he isn’t showing it. In fact...it’s easy for Neku to tell he isn’t because he’s not giving him any signals of such mentally. He just looks on at the boy curiously, his lack of pupils hiding the way he’s now pointedly looking down at Neku’s clothed crotch.

...oh. He can see, now.]

< You can’t just leave that. It hurts. >

[He says even MORE bluntly.]